


The C Word

by Lezbean_musical_addict



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Aromantic Asexual Christine Canigula, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Babies, Basketball, Bisexual Brooke Lohst, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Brooke Lohst is Precious, Cancer, Canon Bisexual Character, Emotional, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, Fluff, Gay, Gay Michael Mell, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Illnesses, In This House We Love All Characters Equally, M/M, Major Illness, Marriage, Married Couple, Married Life, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Chloe Valentine, Pansexual Jake Dillinger, Set After Events of the Original Story, Sick Character, Sickfic, Teaching, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why Did I Write This?, married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-06-30 10:51:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 39,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15750201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lezbean_musical_addict/pseuds/Lezbean_musical_addict
Summary: Set 9 years after the events of the musical, life seems good for Jake and Jeremy, until suddenly, somehow, it's not. What was supposed to be a nice quiet period suddenly turned to one of panic and chaos so bad that everyone would be happy with simply making it out alive.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> !!IMPORTANT BEFORE READING!!
> 
> This fic is going to be very heavy, heavier than my previous ones I think, there's a large amount of angst and sadness with limited fluff/comfort in the beginning, fair warning. Chapter's will be a little shorter than my previous fics, and I'll be doing things that I haven't tried with my work before.
> 
> All the info I've gotten for this story (I did a lot of research) was obtained from a website funded by American Cancer Society called cancer.org, and when comparing it to other sources, it seems like very trustworthy info. Some things may be improvised, but this is a STORY and it's MY story. This is the most medical accuracy I've ever used in a fic and definitely the most research I've ever done for a story too.
> 
> I chose to write this fic because it started as an idea and quickly became a good emotional release for me, not to mention how it has helped me better understand and find a bit of closure with deaths and tragedies in my family. This means this fic means more to me than my previous works, not that I don't love those too.
> 
> For these reasons, I really don't want any hate on this fic, and I'll probably also take constructive criticism with a grain of salt or so, if you notice small mistakes or something I could touch up a little, but I don't wanna hear that something seems unrealistic or 'wow that seems like too long or too short or (insert thing here) seems to happen too much/not enough' I know what I'm doing. Now, without further ado, the fic

After spending nine years of being together, going through all kinds of up and downs, Jeremy and Jake had finally reached a quieter period. They now both had stable jobs, they had a beautiful apartment that they owned and the most exciting things coming up weren’t stressing them.

Jeremy and Jake tied the knot two years ago, at twenty three, they hadn’t been the first of their friends to do it, nor the last. Michael and Rich married just a year after they finished high school, and Brooke and Chloe only realized their true feelings for each other around the time of Jake and Jeremy’s wedding, they were set to get married soon.

Some people might be upset at the thought of a quiet period, but they were ready and happy for it’s arrival. The only things coming up were Brooke and Chloe’s wedding, and Michael and Rich were expecting a baby via a surrogate and some crazy genetics stuff soon, and that was enough excitement for them. 

Jeremy finally had an actual contract with an elementary school and could stop being a substitute teacher which he was very happy about. Jake was still playing basketball, in the NBA now, and he invested a lot of the ridiculous amounts of money he received from playing the sport. 

Jeremy walked home from the school he worked at, it wasn’t a long walk, but it was a very nice one. He soon got home.

“Jake?” He called out as he stepped into the apartment.

“Kitchen.” Came the response. He took his shoes off and went to the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around Jake, hugging him from behind.

“Hi.” Jake chuckled.

“Hi.” Jeremy mumbled.

“How was school today?” Jake turned around in Jeremy’s arms, he liked to tease Jeremy with the school thing, and Jeremy would never grow tired of this teasing.

“One of the kid’s had a birthday, so we skipped like half of math class to eat cupcakes and stuff.” Jeremy smiled.

“Lucky. Our teachers always just crammed that into the end of the day.” Jake chuckled.

“They sure did. But math is before lunch so it seemed to make sense.” He pulled away and shrugged.

“It makes sense to ruin their appetites for lunch?” Jake asked, continuing to work on making the food he was cooking for their dinner.

“No, it makes sense to give them a bunch of sugar at a strategic time so that I don’t have to deal with the sugar hype, nor do I send them home with it either.” He explained.

“Makes sense I guess. You hungry?” He asked.

“Not overly but I’m not buying food at the game.” Jeremy shook his head thinking of the concession stand food and prices.

“It’s good food!” Jake exclaimed.

“It’s greasy and overpriced.” Jeremy protested calmly.

Jake rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He said and turned the stove off before dishing out a plate for himself.

“I’m serious that kind of stuff will kill you if you eat too much of it.” Jeremy told Jake as Jake sat down at the table they had in their large kitchen and he got his own food, a portion way less than what Jake had taken.

“At least you’d die happy.” Jake smiled.

Jeremy made fake gagging noises as he sat down beside Jake. He loved his husband, even if he still acted like a seventeen year old at times. 

They soon left for Jake’s game. Jeremy watched the pregame practice and such, and then watched Jake’s team win the game, not that there was any doubt they wouldn’t about it, but they were now officially headed to the playoffs. 

Jake and Jeremy decided they should celebrate this event hough it wasn’t the first time and it was unlikely it’d be the last. Once in the car Jeremy called Michael from the passenger seat.

“Hey Jere what’s up?” Michael answer.

“You and Rich busy?” Jeremy asked.

“No, why?”

“You guys are about to have a kid which means soon we won’t be able to do this and Jake’s basketball team just officially made the playoffs, we’re going out for drinks.” Jeremy told Michael. “Be ready in twenty, we’ll pick you guys up.” He added.

Michael chuckled. “Alright sounds good.”

They soon dropped their car at home and took a cab so Rich and Michael’s to pick them up. 

The four had a good time and made promises to do this again before Rich and Michael would have to get a babysitter before they could go anywhere. Jeremy fell asleep on the way home. Jake carried him up to their apartment because he only began to stir when Jake began removing his shoes and belt and such.

“You’re soo good at taking care of me.” He sighed happily, his speech was a little slurred, he’d drinken the least but because he weighed so little he was a lightweight meaning he was probably the drunkest of the group at the end of the night.

“I hope I am.” Jake pulled off Jeremy’s sweater.

Jeremy nodded enthusiastically. “Veeery good.” He hummed. 

Jake chuckled at this. “Do you mind if I put you in pajamas?” He asked, he knew the answer but he always asked because Jeremy was actually very adorable when drunk.

“Yes please Jakey.” He pleaded.

Jake smiled he pulled Jeremy’s pants and shirt off, and went to find some of his husbands pajamas which were really just any old clothes of his that the shorter could get his hands on. He grabbed an old t-shirt and some sweatpants that had been cut into shorts and came back, he pulled the clothes onto Jeremy then changed out of his clothes, he set up water and aspirin on Jeremy’s bedside table for him in the morning and got into bed with Jeremy.

“Thank you for taking care of me Jakey.” Jeremy mumbled as he snuggled up to Jake.

“No problem Jeremy. I love you and you’re very cute, it makes it easy.” Jake told him.

“You’re too sweet.”

“You’ve told me that many times.”

“Jake can I ask something?” Jeremy asked.

“Anything honey.” Jake smiled.

“Will you always take care of me like this?” He asked.

“Of course I will. I love you no matter what.” Jake promised.

“What if something happens and I’m not this me anymore?” Jeremy looked at Jake.

“Jeremy, there isn’t anything that could possibly make me stop loving and caring about you. I don’t care what happens. I will still love and care for you when we’re old and wrinkly.” Jake smiled, he had no problem answering Jeremy’s drunken idea-based questions.

“You’ll have to work very hard to see me become old and wrinkly.” Jeremy chuckled.

“Then so be it. I don’t ever wanna lose you.” Jake told Jeremy.

Jeremy smiled but said nothing.

“You should get some sleep. You’re only making your hangover worse by staying up.” Jake told him.

“Okay, okay.” Jeremy sighed. He curled up into a ball and quickly fell asleep.

Sure enough, the next morning Jake was right; Jeremy had a bad headache as a symptom of his hangover. He took the aspirin and drank the water Jake left for him and wandered to the kitchen, Jake was gone on his morning run. Jeremy opened the fridge, thinking maybe he was hungry and immediately realized he wasn’t, he dashed to the bathroom to throw up.  _ Hangovers are just great. _ He thought to himself as he rinsed his mouth before sitting on the bathroom floor, leaning against the cold porcelain of the bathtub.

“Jeremy?” Jake knocked on the door. “You okay?”

“I don’t know why I do this to myself.” He opened the door and hugged Jake.

“Hangover?”

“Yep.”

“You threw up?”

“Yep.”

“You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah.” Jeremy sighed. He wandered back to the kitchen and got another glass of water in the hopes of kicking the hangover.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, in this story, I'll be starting most (not quite all) chapters with flashback scenes to earlier in Jake and Jeremy's relationship, they're usually important moments or firsts in their relationship, so if you have any ideas/want to know something about their relationship, comment something and if I like the idea I'll probably use it!
> 
> (BTW there is something, ehh, suggestive, in this chapter, but it's so so brief and should be fairly SFW)
> 
> Enjoy!

_The first time Jeremy got sick while dating Jake of course was one of the rare weekends his dad was gone on business and Michael couldn’t come help him. He hadn’t yet realized how much Jake cared about him. But he’d soon find out._

_Jake showed up at Jeremy’s house after school on Friday with soup and a free schedule in hand._

_“Jake? What are you doing here?” Jeremy asked, he’d answered the door looking like death with a blanket around his shoulders._

_“I heard from Michael that you’re sick. I came to take care of you.” Jake explained._

_“You didn’t have to.” Jeremy told him._

_“Jeremy, have you seen yourself. I think I do. And besides, I want to do this.” Jake told Jeremy._

_He got Jeremy to eat some soup, checked up on his symptoms, especially his fever, every few hours, and constantly made sure he was comfortable. They spent the evening watching movies and cuddling with the air conditioning on high and Jeremy wrapped in multiple blankets because it was the only way he was comfortable._

_Jeremy fell asleep during a movie. Jake noticed this and didn’t want to leave his boyfriend sleeping on the couch, nor did he want to wake Jeremy up. He picked Jeremy up and carried him to his bed. It wasn’t a huge deal to Jake, but for Jeremy, it proved to him that Jake cared. And Jake further proved that when he asked about Jeremy’s weight once he was feeling better. He’d always been fluttering around being underweight but it was never a huge issue. Jake didn’t like it, but Jeremy insisted it was fine so he left it. He checked up on it often for quite some time though. That’s when Jeremy started to really_ _love_ _Jake._

_\---_

“Hey Jer?” Jake asked later in the day. It was Saturday, so they really had nothing to do.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask something?” Jake asked, he’d put his phone down.

Jeremy looked up at Jake over his laptop screen. “Anything.”

“Well, last night, when I carried you up here from the cab, I noticed that you’re very light.” Jake frowned a little.

“Jake I’ve always been very light.” Jeremy chuckled, not getting what Jake meant.

“I mean you’re lighter than you were six months ago.” Jake looked at him.

Jeremy shrugged. “I can’t think of why. I eat a lot of the same food you do, only smaller portions, but the portions I’ve always eaten, I do occasionally have some other treats too.”

“I know you do, and that’s why I’m concerned. I’m not losing weight.”

“How much lighter did I seem?” Jeremy was skeptical towards Jake’s concerns, but he did close his computer to show he was paying attention.

“I don’t know exactly. But Jeremy, people don’t just spontaneously start losing weight without trying unless something’s wrong.” Jake looked at Jeremy.

“I’m sure it’s nothing.” Jeremy brushed it off, it wasn’t like his ribs could be seen or something, plus he’d built up a little muscle since high school from working out with Jake on occasion, and more muscle meant a little more weight, so he couldn’t be too messed up.

Jake sighed, but let it go. Jeremy was most likely right. It was probably nothing.

Jeremy woke up Monday morning feeling tired and his lower back, no, more like his right hip, hurt. He always felt tired though, that’s what happens when you’re up at six every morning so he could be at work for 7:45 because school started at the ungodly time of 8:15. And his hip, _well maybe I really am just getting old_. He thought to himself with a small chuckle, he probably slept funny and that was why.

He sighed and rolled out of bed. Jeremy went through his morning routine and hoped that the tiredness would fade, the pain already seemed to disappear, he’d been a lot more tired lately, but it was probably just him being ready for the start of summer in two months.

Jeremy certainly didn’t kick the tiredness though and was exhausted by the time he got home. He immediately curled up by Jake on the couch, ready to sleep right there. The pain seemed to start to come back. He shifted a little and it didn’t bother him.

“That tired already Jer?” Jake asked.

Jeremy nodded. “It was a long day.”

“You’ve been having a lot of long days Jeremy.” Jake replied, an element of warning in his voice.

Jeremy shrugged in response.

“It’s not something to shrug off, I’m worried about you.” Jake told Jeremy. He felt Jeremy’s forehead, looking to see if maybe he had a fever and was getting sick. He was somewhat surprised to find that Jeremy’s forehead actually _did_ feel warm. “Jeremy, you have a fever, are you otherwise feeling sick?.”

“No I’m not. It’s nothing.” Jeremy protested sleepily.

Jake looked at the time before pulling out his phone and making a call. Jeremy wasn’t paying attention, he simply was focussed on how tired he was. Jake covered the speaker of his phone after a few minutes. “You’re done work at noon on Thursday right?” He asked.

Jeremy hadn’t bothered to listen up to that point. “Hmm?” He asked, then his brain registered the question. “Yeah, yeah I am.” He answered sounding half asleep.

Jake nodded and soon finished with the phone call. “You have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday at one.” He told Jeremy.

“Jake, you didn’t need to do that.” Jeremy groaned.

“Just go. Maybe you’re right and it’s nothing but it can’t hurt to try right?” Jake offered.

Jeremy huffed. “Fine, but I’m telling you. It’s nothing.”

Jeremy stuck to his regular routine until Thursday. He was tired and that pain was there when he was laying in certain positions or if he stood in a position for too long, but he didn’t say anything, to him it really didn’t seem like it was anything, he probably just pulled a muscle or something. He didn’t even bother to bring it up to anyone. He headed to the doctor’s office despite how much he thought he didn’t need this.

“So Mr. Heere? what’s been going on lately?” The doctor asked as he entered the room.

“Uh, I still use Heere but it’s actually Dillinger-Heere, in your files.” Jeremy said this before anything else. The doctor nodded in response and jotted a note down on the paper file he had. “And I guess I’ve lost some weight recently? I’ve also been a little more tired than usual lately, and I’ve had a very low grade fever the past few days. Personally I’m not too concerned, but my husband wanted me to come in and get checked out.” He explained.

“I see and I understand, my wife does the same thing.” The doctor chuckled. “Can I ask why you aren’t concerned however?” He asked.

“Well the fever, I work with kids, I’m a teacher, they are constantly sick and it can be hard to avoid getting sick yourself no matter what you do. And as for the tiredness, I’ve had a long year with work and I think it’s just the need for a break getting to me.” Jeremy told the doctor.

“Sounds reasonable. What about the weight loss? And can I ask how drastic? Do you know how much you’ve lost I mean.” The doctor asked.

“It is a little more concerning than the other things, see I’ve been eating the same amount of food I’ve always eaten for the most part, eating almost all the same food as my husband if not a few more treats, and I don’t know exactly. I only noticed because my husband did in picking me up and carrying me.” Jeremy told the doctor.

“Your husband can pick you up and carry you?” The doctor asked somewhat shocked and concerned at this information.

“He’s been able to since we got together in high school. He’s 6’2 and can bench press my weight plus a fifty pound sack of potatoes. He’s a professional athlete.” Jeremy explained.

“I see.” The look of severe concern gone from the doctor’s face. “Well at your last check up about 8 months ago you were 135 pounds, just a little below ‘perfect’ for your height and build but close enough. Let’s see what you’re at now.” The doctor suggested.

Jeremy refrained from rolling his eyes at this but did so. He stepped out of the room and into the hall where there was a scale. He kicked off his shoes like asked and stood on the scale.

“123,” The doctor said when he finished balancing out the machine. “We can go back in the room.” The doctor suggested. Jeremy pulled his shoes back on and went back in as the doctor finished writing down some notes.

“While the weight loss is a little odd seeing as how you’ve not been trying to lose weight, it’s not too drastic though and not too much of a concern in my opinion. Have you perhaps been more active of late?” The doctor asked.

“As a matter of fact I have, I got a new job and I’ve been walking to and fro work.” Jeremy chuckled. This really was nothing.

“Makes sense. Now these symptoms could be signs of millions of things being wrong, but I’m not too concerned. There’s a logical explanation for all you symptoms according to you and they are valid in my opinion. I’ll say monitor the fever, if it gets worse, or you start experiencing any other symptoms, come back and we’ll take a closer look.” The doctor instructed.

“Thank you.” Jeremy gathered his stuff and left the office. He sent Jake a text that simply said, “Told you so.”

“What did the doctor say?” Jake asked when he got home from practice.

“I explained the symptoms and we worked out reasonable explanations for everything. I have a fever because I work with kids, they’re always sick and two of them are down with colds right now. I’m tired because I need a break after a long year. And I’ve lost weight because of all the walking I’ve been doing.” Jeremy summed it up.

“So the doctor wasn’t at all concerned?” Jake asked.

“Not like you are. He said if the fever worsens or if I start experiencing other symptoms to come back.” Jeremy told Jake.

Jake huffed. “Fine. But please, be honest with yourself and me, and if things do get worse, you have to promise to go back.”

“I promise, but it’s nothing. I’ll show you how nothing it is.” Jeremy had a small smirk on his face, he took Jake’s hand and pulled him towards their bedroom.

In the morning Jeremy woke up and in addition to the marks he had from the previous night he had, all in places he could hide from his students, his hip was hurting, worse than it had been and he was in one of the safer positions. He grimaced a little before getting up and stretching. It wasn’t too bad, he’d be fine until the end of the day and if it still hurt he’d tell Jake. It wasn’t a huge deal.

He went through his morning routine, but spent a little less time in the shower, and a little more sitting at the table eating his cereal and scrolling through twitter, rather than standing and reading it as he made breakfast. He choose to wear one of his favorite shirts, a mauve purple v-neck t-shirt, and black jogging pants, the lanyard to his keys hanging out of the pocket, and he was unashamed to be wearing black and grey flip flops. It was one of the perks of working with seven year olds, they didn’t care what you wore, which he was thankful for today, because he didn’t want to work hard to put much effort into his appearance this morning. He took some advil with his coffee and used the bad weather as an excuse to take his car without raising suspicion from Jake, because he was convinced nothing was wrong.

By lunch Jeremy admitted defeat. Something was wrong. He called the doctor’s office and got an appointment for Monday. He didn’t like missing work but Jake would tell him that he needs to and in this case he did need too. He went to the office.

“Mrs. Thompson?” He asked the receptionist, he quite liked her actually, she was a middle aged woman with curly red hair, a bright personality, and a love for making conversation with people.

“I told you that you can call me Marina.” She teased.

“It still feels weird.” He told her.

“It’s because you’re still young, it’ll fade. Anyway, what’s up?”

“We’re gonna have to find a substitute for me I wanna say just for Monday morning but realistically, it’s all day.” He sighed. He leaned against the high desk.

“What’s going on?” She asked, this woman knew everyone in the school, every student and all the staff members, and she always could tell if something was wrong with someone.

“I just haven’t been feeling the best the past little while but it seems to be reaching a peak. I’m heading back to the doctor Monday.” He told her.

“Awe what’s wrong?” She asked, the caring ‘mom side’ of her coming out.

“I’ve had a super low grade fever the past week or so, some fatigue, I dropped twelve pounds in seemingly no time at all and I was having little bits of hip pain but it’s getting worse.” He admitted.

“You’re already so skinny! That is a little concerning, I’m sure they’ll figure it out though. You’re young and seem pretty healthy.” She told him.

“I know I am.” He said. “And I think they will, at least they better.” He chuckled.

It was still probably nothing. At least he sure hoped it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post-edit notes: In this fic Jeremy is around 5'9, I thought I should mention that and it's probably fairly accurate with Will Connolly's Jeremy, based on pictures of different cast members and him (mostly Gerard because we all know he's a staggering 5'5, lol, I'd call him short but he's taller than me, rip)  
> Also, no one will notice, but all the people that Jeremy works with are most definitely based off people from my elementary school so, just thought I'd mention that on the like 0.0000001% chance someone reads this and is like, 'HEY! SHE SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE FROM LEZBEAN_MUSICAL_ADDICT's ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!'  
> And I noticed that I will spell 'favourite' with and without the u with no particular pattern or anything, that's what happens when you're Canadian and your teachers don't care how you spell it, even on exams ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's my birthday, and I'm editing and posting this, so I hope at least one person appreciates it. Also; *singing like Eliza in That Would Be Enough* I'm not sorry

_ The first time Jake ever showed weakness in front of Jeremy was their senior year of high school. It was just after a rough football game. Jeremy had watched and waited for Jake after it was over. He came out of the change room holding his hand kind of funnily. _

_ “Jake is your hand okay?” Jeremy asked, walking towards his boyfriend, quickly closing the space between them. _

_ “Hmm? Yeah. It’s nothing.” He looked down. _

_ Jeremy grabbed his hand, it seemed to be swollen below his thumb and was bruised. “Was it that last tackle?” He asked, thinking back to when Jake had been tackled near the end of the game. _

_ “Yeah.” Jake admitted quietly. _

_ “It doesn’t look too good.” Jeremy worried. “Does it hurt?” He asked. _

_ “A bit.” He shrugged. _

_ “Yeah but you have a high pain tolerance.” Jeremy said. “Come on. I’m driving you to get it checked out.” _

_ Jake protested but Jeremy won when he touched the area and Jake nearly shouted in the middle of the hallway, with lots of other people around. _

_ It ended up turning out that Jake broke the metacarpal bone for his thumb and spent 5 weeks in an actual cast and another three in a removable splint. When his thumb was healed Jeremy made a joke he’d been waiting to make for a while. _

_ “So, was that eight weeks of ‘nothing’ fun?” He asked Jake, and only got glared at. _

_ \--- _

Jeremy was sitting funnily in the corner of the couch when Jake got home, he seemed to be heavily leaning on his left side.

“Hey Jer.” He came over. Jeremy was zoned out. “How was your day? We didn’t get to talk much this morning.” He sat down.

“I made another doctor’s appointment.” He told Jake.

“Why?” Jake asked, his tone softer and full of care and concern.

“I don’t wanna say it. It makes me seem old.” He mumbled.

“What, I promise I won’t judge Jer.” Jake swore.

“My hip is hurting.” He mumbled.

“Aww, when’s the appointment?” Jake asked.

“Monday.”

“Then you just gotta make it through the weekend. You can sit around and do nothing. It’s not a big deal.”

“What about your game?” Jeremy asked.

“Jer, you don’t need to come to every game.”

“I wanna be there to support you.” He argued.

“I think I’ll survive one game without you there. Besides, it makes me look really bad that there isn’t much I can come to for you.” Jake chuckled.

“I guess that’s fair. I’m still watching the game on TV though.” He told Jake.

“I don’t doubt you will.” Jake chuckled.

The weekend was uneventful. Jeremy slept in on Monday, a rare delight, and woke up in time for his 11am doctor’s appointment.

“Mr. Heere, I wasn’t hoping I’d be seeing you again soon.” The doctor said when he came into the room.

“Neither did I.” Jeremy chuckled.

“So what brings you back?” The doctor asked.

“Friday morning I woke up with some pain in my right hip and it’s been persistent.” Jeremy told the doctor.

“You’ve never felt this pain before?” The doctor asked.

“I think I did, before my first appointment on Thursday. But it was only when I was in certain positions, I thought maybe I’d pulled a muscle, but I don’t think it’s that now.”

“I see.”

They went through a series of questions regarding the pain and Jeremy’s medical history and Jeremy answered them all truthfully and to the best of his ability. The doctor did a physical exam, paying attention to the area around Jeremy’s hip. It was slightly swollen but hard to tell because of where it was.

The doctor prescribed Jeremy some pain medication and sent him to get his hip x-rayed, which thankfully for him, he could do in the same building. The doctor would call him when the results were back, which would probably be a day or two, unless something was obviously very wrong, or there was absolutely nothing in which they’d need to review it again and decide what to do.

Jeremy went, got the x-ray done, got the prescription filled, which took way too long in Jeremy’s opinion, got some take-out to bring home for a late lunch, and was just getting home when he got a call.

Jeremy answered the ringing phone without checking the number. “Hello?”

“Jeremiah Heere?” The person asked.

“Speaking.” He told them.

“It’s your doctor. We’ve gotten your x-rays back already because they were very quickly processed. I need you to come back in so we can discuss the results.”

“I see. Is there a specific time I should come?”

“The sooner the better.” The doctor’s voice sounded grave.

“Alright.” Jeremy said his voice showing how much on edge he was and finished the call.

“Jeremy?” Jake called out from their bedroom where he was changing and getting ready to head to practice.

“It’s me.” He called out, there was an element of concern and worry in his voice.

“Jeremy what’s wrong?” Jake came out of their room and over to him.

“I went to the doctor, he sent me for an x-ray, I did that and it’s maybe been an hour and a half? and he’s called me back into his office to discuss results. If it was nothing it would’ve taken a few days so they could carefully examine things, this means they found something, and the doctor wouldn’t tell me anything over the phone and said to come as soon as possible. It can’t be good, can it Jake?” Jeremy explained.

“It doesn’t sound the best. I’ll come with you.” Jake offered.

“Don’t you have practice?”

“It’s not mandatory and this is way more important.” He told Jeremy.

Soon they were back at the doctor’s office. “I see you brought your husband, I don’t mean to scare you but that was probably a wise decision. Come into my office.” The doctor indicated for them to follow.

Jake and Jeremy followed the man into his decent sized office.

“I know it’s probably alarming to be called back so soon, but it goes to show that the reason is alarming.” The doctor said. He put the films on a light and turned it on. “Immediately we found something when looking at your scans. If you look here,” He pointed to a darker spot along Jeremy’s hip bone in the film. “You seem to have some kind of lesion, here on your iliac crest, your hip bone. I can’t say anything for sure because x-rays aren’t ideal for diagnosing these things, but it appears to be some kind of tumor.” The doctor paused and Jeremy zoned out thinking about this.

“I’ve already gotten in contact with some colleagues, I’m sending you for an MRI and the doctors there will look over and discuss things, if it is a more severe thing, doctors there will take over your case, if it’s minor, you’ll be sent back to me and I’ll refer you to a surgeon for tumor removal. I’m very sorry about this.” The doctor said.

Jake looked at his husband. Jeremy was staring at the films, still on the light, but it had been turned off. 

“Jeremy?” Jake asked.

“It was nothing.” Jeremy mumbled. 

“I know Jeremy. I know.” Jake told him.

The doctor gave Jake a lot of the information because Jeremy wasn’t in any position to be taking it.

Jake drove them home, the drive was silent.

“Jer?” Jake asked when they were parked in the parking garage.

“Yeah?” He asked, his voice quiet.

“How you holding up?” He asked.

“It was nothing. I was fine.” He looked at Jake. “Now it’s a tumor.”

“It’s okay. Somehow we’ll be fine.” Jake said.

Jeremy ended up scheduling an appointment for the MRI Wednesday afternoon and despite concerns from Jake, he went to work the next day.

He did his best to keep his cool in front of his students, at lunch he headed for the office. Maybe Marina could calm his nerves a little. 

“Hey Jeremy. How’d the appointment yesterday go? How’s the hip?” She asked in a joking manner.

“They sent me for x-rays, I was called back into the office within two hours. It’s uh, it’s probably a tumor.” He looked at her.

“Are you, you’re not being serious.” She looked at him.

“I wish I wasn’t.” He frowned.

“Oh my gosh.” She didn’t know what else to say.

“I’ll need a substitute again tomorrow afternoon. I’m going for an MRI to get a better diagnosis.” He told her.

“I can do that, but you need to talk with Mrs. Cooper about this. If that’s what it is then there could be a lot of missed work if not you needing to leave work. Anita will need some notice.” Marina said, she hadn’t yet come up with the right comforting words so for now she focused on the business stuff. 

“What will I need notice about?” The friendly short, spiky purple haired woman asked as she came into the main office area.

“I might be missing a lot of work if not having to leave.” Jeremy admitted.

“Let’s talk in my office.” She said. 

Jeremy left the office about ten minutes later, and now there was no time for Marina’s comforting words even though he probably needed them more now. Lunch was about to end and he had to get back to his classroom. 

By the end of the day, Jeremy was thoroughly exhausted and very upset about everything. 

Jeremy was curled up on the couch again when Jake got home. 

“Hey Jeremy.” Jake said. “How was school?” He tried, it usually made Jeremy at least chuckle a little.

“Shit. Kids are too happy and I’ll probably have to quit anyway.” He said bitterly, rather than responding how he usually would.

“I’m sorry, but hey, don’t think that way. What if it’s just a small harmless little tumor that can easily be removed. You miss a couple weeks of work and your back.” Jake said.

“Something tells me things aren’t gonna work like that.” Jeremy said.

“Well, don’t lose hope that they could, please?” Jake asked.

“I’ll try.” He said.

“That’s all I need.” Jake gave a small smile.

That night they were in bed when Jeremy looked at Jake. “Are you still awake?” He asked.

“Yes.” Jake said.

“Jake, what if it’s not a harmless little tumor? What if it’s like, cancer?” He  asked.

“Let’s cross that bridge when we get there okay?” Jake asked. “It’s late and we both need some sleep.” 

“Okay, I love you.” Jeremy told him. and wrapped himself around Jake. 

Jake hugged him back tightly, “I love you too.” He mumbled and they both fell asleep quickly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated, I've been super busy the past couple days with going back to school, I don't know if anyone actually is reading this and liking it but if you are thank you and again, sorry I haven't updated in so long! Enjoy!

_ Jake and Jeremy had been through a lot of shit, but one night would forever stick in Jake’s mind, the first time Jeremy let Jake in and told him that he wasn’t feeling okay and metaphorically leaned on him for support. _

_ Jeremy had called Jake late, but Jake answered. “Hey Jeremy, what’s up, it’s kinda late.” _

_ “I, uh, I really needed someone to talk to. Michael wasn’t answering so...” He trailed off. _

_ “What’s up? Lay it on me.” Jake told him. _

_ “I, nevermind. It- it’s stupid. I don’t even know why I did it or am upset over it or am bothering you with it.” _

_ “It’s okay Jeremy. I won’t think you’re stupid.” _

_ “I uh, found my mom’s phone number, and tried to call her because it’s her birthday and I thought maybe she’d wanna talk to me. I was wrong. She told me that I was a waste, and something that she regrets. She said never call again. It just really hurt I guess.” He explained of the verge of tears. _

_ “I’m sorry.” Jake said. _

_ “I shouldn’t have bothered in the first place. If she wanted to talk to me she would’ve reached out. There’s a reason she didn’t want any custody of me.” He said. _

_ “It’s alright Jeremy. She hasn’t been around and you wanted validation from her, it’s perfectly understandable why you’re hurting. She really shouldn’t have told you those things. I’m sorry she did, please know that you’re not a waste, and I’m really glad that you’re around. I love you.” Jake told Jeremy. _

_ “Thank you, and, I love you too.” He smiled a little even though Jake couldn’t see it. _

\---

The next day Jeremy went to work in the morning and left at lunch. He met up with Jake at the hospital where Jeremy was getting the MRI done. He’d said that Jake didn’t need to come but he did anyway.

Jeremy changed into a hospital gown, did the MRI, got his clothes back on and they headed home. He’d get a call in a couple days to see what the next thing was according to the radiologist.

He went into work the next morning and left his ringer on. When the students came in he explained something to them.

“Good morning class, we’ll start our silent reading very soon, but I just want to explain, I’m expecting a very important phone call, so if my phone rings today or tomorrow I’m sorry kiddos but I have to answer it, if I do get this call I need you all to be very quiet can we do that?”

“Yes we can!” The students said in unison.

“Okay,” He chuckled. “Now onto our silent reading.”

It was the next day during science that Jeremy’s phone started ringing. He’d been in the middle of talking about the different states of matter.

He looked at his class and they all stayed quiet as he went to answer. He didn’t recognize the number, this was probably it. He took a deep breath and answered.

“Hello?” He asked as he ducked back into the coat room.

“Jeremiah Heere-Dillinger?”

“Speaking.” He said, it still sounded weird sometimes hearing that.

“I’m calling from the radiology department regarding your recent MRI. I’m calling to tell you that you will be meeting with doctors here to discuss the issue of your tumor. The faster we can meet the better.” The person said.

Jeremy looked over at his students. “How long will this meeting be?” He asked.

“Well you’ll be meeting with an oncologist and a general surgeon to discuss the results of the MRI and to discuss the next move.”

“What’s the latest time of day I could schedule the appointment for? I’m a teacher and if I’m going to have to quit soon I’d prefer to be around as much as possible before I do.” He explained.

“Four thirty is the latest we can do but it would have to be Monday.”

“I can do that. Thank you.” He said.

“Goodbye.” And the call ended.

Jeremy came back in and put his phone back on his desk.

“Mr. Heere are you gonna quit?” One of the students, Emma, asked.

“We heard you say something about it on the phone.” Another, Ryan, said.

“You guys heard that, huh?” He asked.

“Us in the back did.” Emma responded.

“I guess it’s time I tell you guys.” He looked at the time. “Close your books, we’re done science for today. And just because I’m telling you guys this doesn’t mean you can run off and tell everyone okay? I’ll send an email to your parents tonight. Can we do that? Can we keep this a secret?” He asked. He didn’t need the whole school knowing.

“Yes.” They all agreed.

“Okay. I’ve been feeling kind of sick the last little while and we don’t know exactly what’s wrong. The doctors are working very hard to figure it out, but I will definitely miss some school, in the best case scenario. If things are worse, I will have to go and you guys will have a different teacher for the rest of the year.” He told them.

“How are you sick?” One of the students, Cameron, asked.

“Uh, I have some yucky stuff in my body causing problems.” He explained it in terms that their seven year old minds could understand.

“I hope you don’t have to go.” A couple of the kids told him.

“I hope I don’t have to either.” He said.

The class threw some more questions at him and he did his best to answer them without scaring the kids and finally recess came and the questions ended. He began working on the email for parents.

\---

The weekend went slowly and school on Monday was tough. A few of the parents that often volunteered were there trying to ask him things regarding the email but he had the appointment at the hospital.

“I’m very sorry, I can answer questions later, but right now I have an appointment and I have to get out of here.” He said to them and ushered the stragglers out of the boot room. He grabbed his things and headed to the hospital for the appointment.

Jake was already there. “Hey.” He smiled softly.

“Hi.” He said. “I think three parents had more questions than the entire class combined.” Jeremy grumbled.

Jake nodded in understanding.

“Mr. Heere-Dillinger?” An orderly approached them and asked.

“That’d be me.” Jeremy stood up. Jake did the same.

“Right this way.” She lead them into an office. 

“This is Dr. Boyd, he’s the general surgeon on your case, and Dr. Meyers, she’s the oncologist.” The orderly said and left the room.

“What would you prefer we call you?” Dr. Boyd asked.

“Uh, Jeremy or Mr. Heere is fine I guess.” He answered.

“Alright.” Dr. Boyd and Dr. Meyers shook his hand. 

“I’m assuming this is your husband?” Dr. Meyers asked referring to Jake.

“Yes, Jake Dillinger.” He shook the doctors hands.

“Take a seat.” Dr. Meyers instructed. 

Jeremy and Jake did so as well as the doctors.

“So we’ve taken a look at the initial x-ray and the MRI. The tumor is of fair size, it probably wasn’t found until now because of where it is. As you can see here,” Dr. Meyers turned her computer screen around so Jeremy and Jake could see. “It’s more on the inside of your right hip bone. As of right now, we want to do a biopsy to decide what we want to do with treatment. If it’s malignant then we may be able to manage the other symptoms and remove the tumor in summer when you don’t have work, which also gives us time to plan out how exactly it’d be done with the size and location of the tumor. If it’s cancerous that won’t be the case.” Dr. Meyers said.

“With the biopsy, I’d make a small incision near the tumor site, and remove a small piece of it which will be used for testing.” Dr. Boyd said.

“Can I ask how invasive this biopsy is? How long much time off work would I need to take?” Jeremy asked.

“If you can rest and sit a lot then you won’t need long, maybe a week, if we do it say, on a Thursday you could be working by Tuesday or so, but you would need to rest before hand and sit a lot at work.” Boyd answered.

“That’s reasonable.” Jeremy said. “I think I can do that. And if we could do it on a Thursday afternoon I could work in the morning.”

“The sooner we can do it the better. This probably seems like it’s happening very quickly, and to be frank it is, but in cases like yours we want things to go fast because you’re young and otherwise healthy. The faster we do things the faster you can get back to normal life and the less chance of you getting sicker.” Meyers said.

Jeremy nodded in understanding.

“That’s understandable.” Jake said, he put his hand on Jeremy’s and soothingly rubbed the back of it.

“Now this may be an even more undesirable topic, but you are both young, do you understand that this is a lot of medical bills? Because it is, you guys are both young and in love and don’t deserve this, you’re just starting your lives, so we’re prepared to offer services pro bono,” Meyers started.

“While that’s appreciated we don’t need it. Give the pro bono to the treatment to someone else, I know we’re young, but money isn’t an issue.” Jake told them immediately. His parents had been rich but never turned up free handouts, that pissed him off and he refused to accept them.

“We respect that you want to take care of your family without help, but these things can be very costly,” Boyd tried to start again.

“You don’t seem to understand. I’m an NBA player and already have a lot of money going out and coming in on multiple investments. Not to mention my parents are very very well off and can help if somehow we don’t have enough. I have huge a savings and I’m really not worried about the medical bills.”

“Impressive.” Boyd told them.

“That’s why the name is familiar. My family watches lots of basketball.” Meyers exclaimed.

“Well, I’m glad we’ve all agreed in this. When do we want to do the biopsy?” Boyd asked.

“Saturday’s game was cancelled so I don’t have anything this weekend meaning I could take care of you. The sooner it’s done the sooner we have answers.” Jake looked at Jeremy.

“Can we do it Thursday afternoon? I really just want to miss as little work as possible, I’m a second grade teacher work is done at noon for me on Thursday. It’s hard to miss a lot of work when I can’t explain to the kids why exactly I’m missing work.”

“We understand, tumors and cancer aren’t exactly something you can explain to young children easily. And I’d imagine there’s rules regarding that kind of thing too.” Doctor Meyers said.

“Exactly.” He agreed.

“I’m available Thursday at 3:00pm as long as you haven’t been taking any medications within the last few days.” Doctor Boyd said.

“Nothing but Tylenol.” He said.

“Alright. I’ll give you these forms to read over and sign. I won’t put you under general anesthesia, but sedation and local anesthetic, it makes recovery easier.” Dr. Boyd said.

Jeremy nodded. He took the forms from the doctor and began reading them over. He signed them and handed them back over.

“Alright. Stop eating around eleven or so on Thursday morning, water is allowed until one. I suggest wearing sweatpants or even pajama pants. You’ll need to be here at two, we’ll start at three and it shouldn’t take long. Barring any complications, which is unlikely, you should be able to head home that night.” Doctor Boyd told him.

Jeremy nodded and soon they left. So far this was a lot to take in but Jeremy was taking it like a champ in Jake’s opinion. But he wondered if he could continue to take it well when the biopsy results came back


	5. Chapter 5

_The first time Jake and Jeremy ever fought was when they were heading to college and figuring out dorms. Jake thought it might be best if they didn’t room with each other and Jeremy disagreed._

_“I just don’t understand why we can’t share a dorm!” Jeremy half shouted, they were at his house packing his room up, but it’d been forgotten about._

_“I just think it’s best if we do get that little bit of separation from each other. Plus Rich and Michael both want to live in seperate dorms anyway, and they’re_ _engaged_ _.” Jake spoke calmly._

_“Well sorry for thinking maybe you might want to spend some time with me! Last time I checked, we aren’t Michael and Rich, Jake!”_

_“It’s not that I don’t wanna spend time with you, I think we’ll be able to better focus on our studies if we aren’t living in the same dorm.”_

_“That’s just it Jake, we’ll be focussing on our studies so I don’t see when we’re supposed to have seperate time for us, plus our classes and said studies!”_

_“It’s not that different from high school.”_

_“It is so different! At least for me it is! You’re taking what? Some courses in business? I’m going to school to become a teacher, and I can’t fail my classes and just take them again because unlike you, not everyone has the money to redo a class as many times as they need to in order to pass it! Not everyone has rich mommies and daddies to just throw money at all their problems!” Jeremy shouted. “I just wanted to share dorm so that we could spend some time together because usually you’re a calming presence for me and it’d be good for us!” Jeremy spoke in a much quieter, but much more angry voice._

_“Jer,” Jake started._

_“Don’t ‘Jer’ me! I can’t believe you right now, I thought, I thought you cared. I thought that you liked me, I thought that you wanted to spend time with me but I guess not! Get out. Just get out.” Jeremy shouted and was crying._

_“Jeremy please,”_

_“_ _Get. Out._ _” Jeremy commanded._

_Jake didn’t fight it. He left._

_Jeremy watched as Jake left and cried. Things had been so good between them until this._

_The next morning Jeremy woke up and immediately called Jake, who answered the phone quickly with a bitter. “Calling to shout at me some more?”_

_“No. That’s not it. I was acting like you wanted to live in different states. And I’m sorry. I understand why you wanna live in seperate dorms, and I see now that it might be good for us after all.” Jeremy said._

_“Oh. We’ll I’m sorry for not listening to your side of things. I should realize how stressed you are, because you’re right. This is different for us. I have a back up plan and you don’t and this is a lot more important for you. I shouldn’t have let us fight.” Jake admitted._

_“I’m sorry we fought too. I didn’t mean what I said.” He paused. “Are we okay?” He asked._

_“Of course we’re okay. I’m not gonna lose you over some petty fight. I love you and you mean to much to me to let that happen.” Jake said._

_“I love you too.” Jeremy told Jake._

_\---_

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday morning went by very slowly but all too quickly at the same time. It seemed like an eternity passing by at the speed of light made up those days and all too soon but not soon enough, school was almost over on Thursday.

“Okay class just before home time I wanna tell you something. Tomorrow and Monday I won’t be here. I expect you’ll all be good for the substitute?” He asked.

“We will.” The kids said in unison.

“Good. When I get back on Tuesday we probably will go outside or we might join Miss Wong’s class for gym. Sound good?”

They all gave signs of agreement.

“Perfect. Have a good rest of the day and I’ll see you all on Tuesday.” He said as the bell rang. He dismissed them to the boot room and stood by the door saying goodbye to students as they left for the day. Soon the majority of kids had gone. Miss Wong or Alex, whose classroom was across the hall, was still by her door.

“Hey Alex quick question.” He said as he moved into the hallway. She came to the middle of the hall as well.

“What’s up?” She asked. She was shorter than Jeremy and kind of reminded him of a cross between Christine, and Michael in some ways. She had multiple tattoos, nothing crazy, but a couple on her wrist and one on her foot. She often wore comfier clothes to school as well. Her and Jeremy were the youngest teachers in the school.

“Okay so I’m actually going in for a biopsy in a couple hours and I was wondering, when I’m back on Tuesday would it be possible for us to do gym together. We could have the kids verse in soccer baseball or something. I just can’t be doing much afterwards.”

“Of course, sounds good! Can I ask what the biopsy is for?” She asked as she pushed her glasses black framed glasses.

He looked around before lowering his voice due to the few straggler students. “They uh, they found a tumor on my hip bone, they’re doing the biopsy so they can see if it’s cancerous or not.” He admitted.

“Oh my gosh! We’ll I hope things go well and that the results come back with some good news!” She said.

“I do too.” He sighed.

“How are you holding up with that though?” She asked.

“The thing bothering me the most, honestly, is my students right now. I don’t want to have to leave work.” He said.

“Well exactly. We both just got contracts. It would suck if you had to leave, not to mention why you’re leaving. I don’t want to lose my sweatpants buddy.” She chuckled.

“Exactly.” He agreed.

The two talked a little more before Jeremy had to go. He went home and showered and shaved and such. He put on some jogging pants and a t-shirt and at that point it was time to head to the hospital, he threw on some flip flops and headed down to the car with Jake who refused to let Jeremy drive.

“How you holding up babe?” Jake asked as they drove.

“Nervous.” He admitted.

“That’s to be expected. I’m sure everything will go fine. Can I bring something up though?” Jake looked at Jeremy while they were stopped at a red light.

“What is it?” Jeremy asked.

“Well, I think eventually we’re gonna have to tell people. Michael, your dad, Christine might kill you when she finds out that you didn’t tell her sooner. I’m fine with taking care of you but it might be good for you to have their support.” Jake explained.

Jeremy was quiet for a little bit. “Fine. We can tell Michael and Christine sometime after the biopsy here, Michael can tell Rich. And I’ll tell my dad and Brooke and Chloe when we have the biopsy results back. I just don’t want to worry them unnecessarily. Brooke and Chlo are planning a wedding and dad, he’s just older I don’t need him worrying without reason.” Jeremy gave in.

“That’s perfectly fair.” Jake agreed with him and they soon pulled into a parking spot at the hospital. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Jeremy and Jake went into the hospital. They got a little lost but soon found where it was they was supposed to be going.

“Alright Mr. Heere, you’ll need to change into a hospital gown. You’ll have to remove your underwear too I’m afraid. Remove any jewelry as well. You can change in there and you’ll find bags you can put your clothes in.” A nurse told him and handed him a hospital gown.

Jeremy took the hospital gown. He hadn’t brought his phone or wallet for obvious reasons but hadn’t thought to take off his wedding ring. He never did until there was a chance he could seriously ruin it. He pulled the ring off and gave it to Jake for safe keeping.

It was a simple, black titanium band but engraved in the inside of it was Jake’s name and the date of their wedding. Jake’s was very similar but his had Jeremy’s name. They’d originally thought about traditional silver or gold bands, but they couldn’t choose one because they were both not right, when the boys found the black titanium and knew that was it.

Jeremy felt odd taking his ring off, he just felt, naked in a way. “Don’t worry. I’ll be taking it back after.” He promised with a chuckle.

“You better be.” Jake chuckled as well in response.

Jeremy went into the room and changed into the hospital gown, he was thankful that it tied on the side, it was slightly confusing but at least there would be no chance of anyone seeing anything. It was very large on him and he just felt awkward. He shoved his clothes in the bag and came out.

“I’m drowning in this hospital gown.” He said to Jake.

Jake looked at him. “You really are.” He chuckled. “Here give me your clothes.”

Jeremy handed them to him.

“Alright Mr. Heere. I’ll be taking you back to prep your for the procedure. You won’t be able to talk to you husband until after the procedure.” The nurse told him.

“I’ll see you when you get out of there.” Jake promised. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Jeremy said and quickly kissed Jake. “See you after.”

Jake nodded and Jeremy went with the nurse. He was prepped for the biopsy which included an in depth explanation of what would happen the nurse thoroughly washing the sight where the incision would be made, putting a surgical cap over his hair, starting an IV for the sedative which would be started once he was in the OR, and Dr. Boyd stopping by to mark where he’d be making the incision, he also went over the procedure again.

“I’ll make a small incision, over where we can access the tumor, and remove a piece of it, if things are going well, there’s no complications, and we can get good visuals, I may take some photos of the tumor, I’ll make sure nothing is bleeding, and stitch you backup.” Dr. Boyd explained. Jeremy only nodded in understanding.

He was soon taken to the OR where it would be happening. He laid down on the table and they started the sedative. It didn’t take long for Jeremy to fall asleep.

Jeremy woke up a few hours later and felt very groggy, gross and disoriented, he also was in some pain just by his hip bone. He looked around a tiny bit and tried to sit up.

“Careful, you don’t wanna rip out your stitches.” Jake warned him.

Jeremy looked over and saw Jake. He was sitting in a chair by Jeremy’s bed. “Don’t feel good.” He mumbled.

“I know baby. I know. The sedation and stuff is wearing off. Does it hurt at all?” Jake asked as he used the controls on Jeremy’s bed to put him into a bit more of a sitting position.

Jeremy nodded.

“Okay. I’ll go let a nurse know that your awake and in some pain so that someone can get you something for that.” He said and got up and left the room, soon returning with a nurse and Dr. Boyd.

“I was just going to come check on you. How are you feeling?” Boyd asked.

“Uh, in some pain, tired, a bit nauseous.” Jeremy answered.

“That’s all to be expected. The nurse here is giving you something for pain to keep you okay, might make you a little loopy, and we’ll give a prescription for some pain medication before you leave. A cup of cold water should help with that bit of nausea and I’d like to check your stitches one last time if that’s alright with you. And the nurse can show you and Jake how to properly bandage it.” Dr. Boyd told him as a nurse gave him a needle with medication for the pain.

“Of course.” Jeremy said.

Soon his stitches had been checked and he knew the ‘proper’ way to bandage it. “Alright everything’s good, just in talking with you I’m not seeing anything concerning, I think it’s safe for you to head home. You’ll need to rest a lot, especially if you want to go back to work on Tuesday, let Jake take care of you. As hard as it may be to stand for a shower, do not take a bath or otherwise submerge you stitches and don’t over exert yourself.” The doctor reminded him.

“I read the post-biopsy information many times, I know.” Jeremy chuckled a little, it hurt to do so and he didn’t plan do to that for a while.

“Okay. You can put you clothing back on and someone will bring a wheelchair to get you out to your vehicle.” Boyd told him.

“I think that’s overkill.” He told the doctor.

“Try dressing yourself and we’ll talk then.”

Jeremy frowned a little. Jake handed him his clothes. He tried to change himself but he found it hurt a bit too much and Jake ended up helping him. He sat in a wheelchair to go out to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted in so long, these first weeks of school have been whooping my ass. I've had tons of homework and I'm just generally hella exhausted. I was at school last night until 11:15pm and I stayed late after school lots before that this week. I'll try to be better guys. Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have anything to say here really, so uh, hi to any new readers, and enjoy the chapter!

_ Jake had met Jeremy’s dad before they dated, but it wasn’t until after they started dating that Jeremy met Jake’s parents. They were very much absent parents, simply throwing money at all the problems that crossed their paths, but when Jake told them he’d been dating Jeremy for almost two years at that point they decided to invite him for dinner. _

_ “Do you think they’ll like me?” Jeremy asked. _

_ “If they don’t they’ll come around. Don’t worry.” He told Jeremy. _

_ “Okay.” He said. He took a deep breath before Jake lead him into the house. _

_ “We’re here!” Jake called out. _

_ “Living room.” A voice responded. _

_ Jake lead the way to a very formal looking living room. “This is for formal shit, the family room is for casual stuff.” Jake explained quietly to Jeremy before leading him into the room. “Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Jeremy.” Jake said to them. “Jeremy, my parents Emily and Nathan.” He said. _

_ “Nice to meet you.” Jeremy said nervously, he extended his hand. _

_ Both of Jake’s parents shook his hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you. You and Jake have been together for two years?” Emily asked. _

_ “Just about.” Jeremy said. _

_ “Why haven’t we met you before?” Nathan asked. _

_ “No reason I guess.” Jeremy shrugged. _

_ Before dinner even started Emily pulled Jake aside and told him that she already liked Jeremy, and coming from her, it meant a lot. _

_ \--- _

When Jake and Jeremy got home Jake took Jeremy straight to bed despite his protests. Jake was right  in doing this though, Jeremy quickly fell asleep once in bed.

When Jeremy woke up the next morning the first thing he noticed was that Jake was nowhere to be seen.

“Jake?” He called out as he carefully fought himself out of the covers and sat up.

“Right here baby.” He said, standing in the doorway.

“I just woke up and you weren’t there.” He explained.

“Oh, I slept on the couch. I didn’t want to hurt you or anything by shifting weight around on the bed.” He explained.

“It’s fine Jake, I don’t think there’s much to worry about anyway. It was a minor operation and we have a  _ king size bed _ .” Jeremy said.

“I’ll sleep with you tonight okay?”

“You better.” Jeremy smiled a little. He slowly and carefully began to get out of bed.

“Are you okay? Do you need help?” Jake asked immediately.

“Jake, honey, I have a couple of stitches in my side nothing more, you don’t need to worry over me like I just had some major surgery.” Jeremy told him.

“You still need to rest.” Jake started.

“And I will, but the doctor said rest, not bed rest. I’m fine.” Jeremy got up, carefully changed, stopping to change the bandages over his stitches, and then went and sat on the couch. “Happy?” He asked Jake.

“Yes.” Jake told him and kissed his head. “You hungry?” Jake asked.

“Not overly. Could I just have some toast?” Jeremy asked.

Jake nodded and made Jeremy breakfast.

A little after breakfast Jeremy grabbed his phone. “Would you mind if Michael came over, I wanna tell him about, stuff.” Jeremy looked at Jake.

“Of course he can baby. If you don’t mind maybe I could go for a run while he’s here?”

“Jakey you can leave me alone. Don’t worry. Yes you can go for a run.” Jeremy told him.

“Okay.”

Jeremy called Michael, who quickly answered. “Jeremy what’s up? It’s like, 10 in the morning on a Friday. It’s no big deal for me I have the day off, but like, what?”

“I’m not at work today. Can you come over or do you have plans?”

“I was just gonna sit and play video games all day. Yes I can come over.”

“Okay. See you when you get here.” Jeremy told him and the call ended.

All too soon Jeremy heard their buzzer. Jake answered it and let Michael up. “I’ll be back.” He told Jeremy and left the apartment.

Soon Michael was letting himself into the apartment. “Hey Jeremy.” He said when he saw Jeremy sitting on the couch.

“Hi.” Jeremy said in response.

“So what’s going on?” Michael asked as he sat down on the couch as well.

“How do you know something’s going on?” Jeremy asked in response.

“You’re not at work first off, and I’m your best friend. I know when something’s up.” Michael told Jeremy.

“Okay you’re right. It’s really bad though, so it’s not easy to say.” Jeremy told Michael.

“Jeremy, we’ve been best friends for nearly 21 years. You can tell me anything.” Michael promised Jeremy.

“I just hate telling you this, especially now because you’re supposed to be happy and excited, you’re expecting a baby.” Jeremy explained.

“Jeremy, don’t worry about me, this is obviously upsetting you and maybe I can make you feel better. Lay it on me.”

“Fine. I guess I’ll start at the beginning. So three weeks ago, the third, was that night we all went out drinking right?” Jeremy asked.

Michael nodded.

“Okay, so me and Jake got home and he carried my drunk ass up to bed. The next morning he brought up how I seemed to weigh less, then I felt a little under the weather, Jake freaked out and made a doctors appointment for me on that Thursday, the ninth, I went even though I didn’t think it was anything, I was told it was probably nothing but to make another appointment if any new symptoms showed up. The next day, so two weeks ago, I was making another appointment, because I started having some pain. Monday the thirteenth comes, I go to the doctor, he sends me for some x-rays which I did right after and maybe an hour later I was called back into the doctor’s office. They found a tumor on my right hip.” Jeremy paused, allowing Michael to take the opportunity to speak.

“A tumor?” He asked, disbelief and fear thick in his voice.

Jeremy nodded.

“What’s- what are they gonna,” Michael started.

“Two days later, the fifteenth, I went in for an MRI so they could get better images of it. I met with a general surgeon and an oncologist on the 20th, so four days ago, they wanted a biopsy so that was done yesterday afternoon, hence why I’m not at work, and now we’re just waiting for the results, the doctor said it would be a couple days to a couple weeks.” Jeremy finished.

“That’s a lot, this seriously started three weeks ago?” Michael asked, still in disbelief.

“Yeah, the doctor said it has been quite fast but they wanna get it figured out so I can get back to myself and my regular activities and such as soon as possible because I’m ‘so young’ and ‘in my prime’ not to mention that they were quite pleased to hear that we can, and will pay for everything in the way of medical bills.” Jeremy explained.

“So this is real. You actually have a tumor?” Michael looked at Jeremy.

“Yeah, I really do. I’m gonna tell Christine tonight or something, you can tell Rich, but I don’t wanna tell my dad or Brooke and Chloe until the biopsy results come back, I don’t wanna worry them until I have to.” Jeremy told him.

“Makes sense. Thank you for telling me.” Michael said.

“Of course. Besides Jake obviously knowing and a couple people at work you’re the first person I’ve told.” Jeremy told him.

“Do you wanna maybe do something to get your mind off this?” Michael asked.

“More than anything.” Jeremy sighed.

Jeremy and Michael played video games for a couple of hours, Jake had long since come home but he let them play. The video games were a good distraction, Jeremy started to forget everything going on, but then they finished a level and he stretched, causing him to hiss in pain, at the painful pulling sensation from where his stitches were, and then he remembered.

“You okay?” Michael asked.

“Just hurts to stretch because of the stitches from the biopsy.” Jeremy explained.

Michael nodded in understanding. He looked at the time. “I should get going.” He sighed. 

“I understand. Thank you for spending the day with me.” Jeremy smiled.

“Of course. Hug?” He asked.

Jeremy nodded and opened his arms for a hug.

Michael hugged Jeremy tightly. “You’ll make it through this.” He told Jeremy.

Jeremy only nodded in response.

Michael soon left.

“You told him?” Jake asked.

Jeremy nodded in response. “Where’s my laptop? I wanna video chat Christine and tell her.” Jeremy said.

Jake brought it over. “You sure you’re ready?” He asked Jeremy as he handed it to him.

“I think I have to get used to telling people.” Jeremy answered as he took his laptop from Jake.

“I guess. I’m gonna get started on dinner, any requests?” Jake asked.

“Chicken nuggets? Made with doritos?” He asked and gave Jake a puppy dog face.

“Of course baby.” Jake smiled and kissed him on the top of the head before going to the kitchen. 

Jeremy opened his laptop and video called Christine. She soon answered.

“Jeremy! We haven’t spoken in forever! I’m so glad you called.” She said with a smile.

“Well, you might not be when you hear what I’ve got to say.” Jeremy told her.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“What I called to tell you isn’t easy to say or hear.” Jeremy told her.

“You can tell me Jeremy.”

Jeremy told her everything he told Michael.

“That’s awful. I hope it’s nothing serious, I mean, a tumor is already serious but I hope it doesn’t get more serious.” She told him in response.

“Yeah me too Chris.” He agreed. “By the way please don’t tell anyone. Only Jake, Michael, probably Rich by now if not soon, and some people at work know. I just don’t wanna scare anyone until we know what exactly is going on.” Jeremy explained.

“I won’t tell anyone.” She promised.

In need of a friendly distraction Jake choose that moment to show up behind the couch where Jeremy was sitting and bend down so Christine could see him too. They talked for a little while until Jake had to finish dinner and Christine had plans. The call ended.

“You did a really good job telling Michael and Christine.” Jake smiled at him.

“Thanks. I just hope that when I tell more people it won’t be horrible news.” Jeremy sighed.

“Try not to worry or think about it. It could be harmless.”

“I know. I hope it is.” Jeremy sighed and sat down to eat. He sure hoped it would be nothing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in so long. I'm doing the best I can.

_ The first time Jeremy ever had to tell Jake some really bad news that would affect both of them wasn’t until they were out of college and newly married. He was scared that Jake would be mad at him for it. But he had to tell Jake. _

_ “Jake?” Jeremy called out when he got home that night. _

_ “Hey Jer, what’s up?” Jake emerged from their small kitchen in their temporary apartment, they planned to get a bigger one soon. _

_ “I uh, I have some bad news.” Jeremy admitted. _

_ “What’s wrong?” Jake asked. _

_ “Well you know how there was a chance I was gonna get an actual job at the school I’m at right now?” Jeremy asked. _

_ “Yeah. What happened?” _

_ “Well, they uh, they found out I was married to a man, and suddenly I’m not a good fit for their school. I’m not getting an actual job and probably won’t ever sub there again once this gig is over.” Jeremy explained, trying to keep it together, but beginning to fail. _

_ “Because of your sexuality? That’s discrimination!” Jake started to get worked up. _

_ “There’s no proof of it. They didn’t say why, they just found out and conveniently decided after that I wasn’t a good fit after all.” Jeremy explained. _

_ “You still could fight it.” _

_ “No, if they don’t want me I’m not going to fight to be there.” Jeremy sighed. _

_ “I guess that’s fair. I just hate that it hate that this is happening to you.” Jake explained. _

_ “It sucks but it is what it is.” Jeremy shrugged. _

_ “I guess.” _

_ “Are you mad at me?” _

_ “Why would I be mad at you? It’s not your fault and I understand why you don’t wanna fight it.” _

_ “Thank you.” Jeremy smiled a little  _

_ “Of course. I love you and nothing else matters. And screw them. You’ll find a different, better job elsewhere.” Jake reassured him. _

_ “You really think so?” Jeremy asked. _

_ “I know so. Now I’m just gonna go leave a nasty review of that school on Google.” Jake said. _

_ “Really? Isn’t that a little immature?” _

_ “Maybe it is, but I don’t care I’m doing it anyway.” _

_ Jeremy chuckled and laughed. “I love you.” _

_ “I love you too.” _

The rest of Jeremy’s long weekend went by slowly and he was back at work on Tuesday. He still had to be careful of his stitches but that really was the only thing. On Friday he finally got a call from the doctor after a week of anxiously waiting. He was to come in on Monday at three thirty and discuss the biopsy results. Jake soon got home from the game that Jeremy hadn’t gone to because timing didn’t work out with meetings for work and such.

“I’m home.” Jake said as he entered the house.

“Hi Jake.” Jeremy greeted him quietly.

“What’s wrong?” Jake asked, immediately sensing something was going on.

“I got a call from Dr. Meyer’s office today.” Jeremy told him.

“And?”

“Three thirty, Monday, we’ll be discussing biopsy results.” Jeremy said simply.

Jake nodded in response.

Jeremy was on edge all weekend despite Jake trying multiple things to calm him down, Jeremy didn’t seem to want the comfort and shot every idea down.

_ “Hey wanna go see a movie?” _

_ “Not really?” _

_ “Let’s bake together or something.” _

_ “It’s too hot.” _

_ “We could go for a walk.” _

_ “My hip hurts.” _

By the time Monday rolled around Jeremy was on edge and jumpy now too. He seemed very paranoid, the bell at school would ring and he wasn’t expecting it and he’d jump, Jake has been worried about him and the people around the school that knew, and even a few who didn’t were also concerned about him, he told everyone it was nothing and continued trying and failing to reinforce the idea.

_ “You’re very jumpy today Jeremy. Is everything alright?” Marina asked when he was in the office photocopying things. The copier had made a noise and he flinched a little. _

_ “Hmm? Oh, fine.” He responded. _

_ A kid stomped their foot to get their shoe on and Jeremy froze. _

_ “Are you alright? You seem very on edge.” Alex commented. _

_ “Oh, it’s nothing.” _

_ “Mr. Heere, is there a reason you jumped like that when the bell rang? Is something wrong?” A teacher’s assistant named Mrs. Preston asked. _

_ “Oh, just didn’t expect the bell yet. Don’t worry about me.” _

The bell rang and he practically shoved the kids out and didn’t say goodbye to anyone that day before he flew out of school the second he could. 

Jake met him at Dr. Meyer’s office, where they’d met her and Dr. Boyd the first time. They were sitting outside the doctor's office, both hoping they were about to receive good news but feared they were about to receive bad news.

“What if it’s-” Jeremy started.

“It’s not.” Jake stopped him.

“But it could be-”

“Let’s try not to think about that.” Jake shut it down.

“There’s a good chance it’s-”

“We don’t know what it is yet, there’s no use in worrying.” Jake stressed.

“But Jake,”

“I don’t wanna hear it! We don’t know what’s going on yet so let’s not worry until we do.” Jake snapped.

“Okay.” Jeremy looked down and didn’t say anything else.

After a couple minutes of uncomfortable silence a nurse came over. “Mr. Heere? Dr. Meyers is ready to see you now.” The nurse said and lead Jake and Jeremy to the office.

“Mr. Heere how are you feeling today?” Dr. Meyers asked as they entered the office.

“Nervous.” Jeremy told her.

“Mr. Dillinger? I imagine the same?” She asked.

“Yeah.” He said.

“Would either of you like a water or a coffee?” She asked.

“A water would be great.” Jake answered.

“Nothing for me.” Jeremy said.

Meyers nodded and got up, she went over to the small fridge and got Jake a bottle of water and handed it to him.

“Can we begin?” Jeremy asked, wanting to get things started. The wait was killing him.

She nodded. “Okay so you had your biopsy last Friday on the twenty third. We sent samples off to the lab for testing. We did multiple tests to look for an array of things that could be the cause of the tumor.” She started.

“What did you find?” Jake asked nervously.

“Well first we did some testing to look for any kinds of harmful, or cancerous cells.” She paused and sighed. “Unfortunately that test came back positive, meaning that there is the presence of harmful cells.” She explained.

Jeremy sucked in a breath but said and did nothing yet.

Jake reached over and grabbed Jeremy’s hand. 

“Based off where we found the tumor we were able to narrow down the options of what kind of tumor it could be.” She looked to see if they were able to pay attention.

“Okay.” Jake said in understanding.

“We did a chromosome test that’s name is very long and complicated, it’s called a ‘fish’ test because that’s the acronym. The pathologist treats cells with fluorescent dyes that only attach to specific genes that alert to chromosome changes. After this came back positive we looked more closely at your chromosomes and found that there had in fact been swapping of cells between chromosomes 11 and 22.” She explained.

“What, what does that mean?” Jake asked.

Jeremy was still silent, listening to the doctor’s words but not yet reacting.

“It means that we were pretty sure of a diagnosis at that point but we did one final test. A sample from the biopsy was taken and treated with solutions that only attach to Ewing Tumor cells. I’m sorry to say these tests came back positive.” She said.

Jake and Jeremy both said nothing, but she had their full attention.

“We went back and looked at your scans. When we did the MRI we took many images from all over your body. We took the information from these scans and your limited symptoms and concluded that the tumor is localized to your hip. We began working on the staging process which for bone tumors is complicated, so bare with me here.” She said.

They nodded in unison.

“The first category is T, it is for how large the tumor is, we’ve concluded that it is a T2, meaning bigger than 8 centimeters or about three inches across. The second is the N category, it’s for if there is spread to nearby lymph nodes. Fortunately, you seem to be at an N0 meaning there is no spread to lymph nodes. Everything make sense so far?” She asked.

“Yes.” Jake said.

Jeremy gave a slight nod.

“Okay, the next category is M, for if it’s spread to organs, lucky it hasn’t, putting you at an M0. And the last category is G, simply for grade, all Ewing tumors are classified as G3.” She told them.

“Okay.” Jeremy looked at her.

She sighed and rubbed her face with her hands a little, before she finally spoke again her voice shaking as she said, “This means that I am very sorry to say Mr. Heere, but I’m diagnosing you with a stage 2B Ewing Tumor on your right hip. You have cancer.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the month long disappearance to anyone whose actually been reading this. The past month has been really rough for me, but I finally have a spare moment of time and a bit of motivation so here I am. I think I'm just gonna post the rest of the story today or over the next two days just to get it over with. I still love the story but mental health issues complicate things. Anyway enough of that, onto stuff about the chapter.
> 
> In this chapter we learn more about Jeremy's diagnosis, what's going to happen in the way of treatment, etc. Fair warning, I want this to be a realistic story to at least some standard so I'm not going to sugar coat side effects, I won't be gross about it of course. Just, if you can't be mature about things, consider no longer reading this fic

The worst news Jeremy had ever gotten was just delivered to him. Nothing could top it, he doubted anything ever would. He was in shock.

“Cancer? It’s definitely cancer?” Jake asked.

“Unfortunately yes.” Dr. Meyers told him.

“What do we do? What happens now?” Jake began throwing questions.

Jeremy, who had yet to speak since she said it finally added something. “What’s the survival rate of this?” He asked.

“Let’s start with Jeremy’s question. With the tumor size, staging, and your age, as of right now, the five year survival rate is fifty percent. But will adjust when we begin treatment and see how you respond.” She said.

“So it’s a two way split? Fifty fifty shot at living to see my 31st birthday?” He asked.

“Yes, sadly. Jake, you want to to know what happens now and I’m sure Jeremy does too. With this type of cancer it is important to start you on chemotherapy, to kill any undetected cancer cells. This is called neoadjuvant chemotherapy, meaning it happens before surgery or radiation therapy. This regimen is a combination of five different drugs. They are cycled, with three of the drugs being given over a few days, a rest period, then the other two. This cycle will go on for nine weeks and we’ll screen to see if the tumor has shrunk at that point.” The doctor explained.

“When do we start the chemo?” Jeremy asked.

“We’ll I’d prefer we start as soon as possible. The longer we wait the more the tumor can grow, but I understand that you need time to get your affairs as far as work go in order before we can start.” She said.

He nodded. “How long will these cycles be? And uh, side effects of the chemo?” Were up next on Jeremy’s list of questions.

“I’ll be putting you on a eleven day cycle so you’ll get about 5 cycles by nine weeks. And chemotherapy is a combination of many aggressive drugs and the side effects list is long. There’s the possibility for hair loss, mouth sores, loss of appetite, nausea or vomiting, diarrhea, increased risk of infections, easy bruising or bleeding, and fatigue, are the most common ones. Specific drugs can cause other symptoms too. We’ll do lots of blood work before we start chemotherapy so we can ensure it doesn’t cause heart or liver damage among other things.” She said.

Jeremy nodded.

They were given a lot more information. Jeremy didn’t show any emotion until they got home, where he turned to Jake and attached himself to his husband.

“It’s cancer.” He sobbed.

“I know.”

“I have cancer.”

Jake hugged him tightly.

“I might not live to my 30th birthday.”

“I know it’s hard but let’s try to not think like that.” Jake suggested.

“I have to quit my job.”

“I’m sure they’ll rehire you once you get better.”

“I don’t wanna quit. I don’t wanna leave my students. I don’t wanna have cancer.”

“I know. I know you don’t. And I’m so so sorry that you do. I wish I could do something about it. I’d give anything if it could just be gone.” Jake promised him.

The two continued to hold each other, Jeremy sobbing, Jake crying a little as well, for the rest of the night.

The next morning Jeremy went to work. He got there and went straight for Anita’s office.

“Good morning Jeremy. What’s going on this morning?” She asked.

“I”m afraid I have to quit or go on some kind of medical leave.” He told her.

“Why?” She questioned, shocked at this.

“I went for a biopsy of that tumor on Thursday, I got the results last night. It’s cancerous.” He explained and covered his mouth with his hand.

“Oh my. Jeremy I’m so sorry to hear. I don’t really know what else to say, I’ve never had a teacher of mine tell me they have cancer before.” She admitted and took a breath to keep from crying.

“Well this is my notice, and I hate doing this to you, and as much as I want to stay longer I need to start treatment as soon as possible. I’ll help find a substitute so that Friday can be my last day.” He told her, tears beginning to fall down his cheeks.

“I understand, and don’t worry about helping find someone, I’ll take care of it. For now, you need to focus on telling your students and I guess enjoying you last days with them. Of course, when you’re better I will hire you back in a second.” She promised.

“Thank you.” He mumbled.

Jeremy headed to his classroom where he typed out an email to parents, explaining to them that he was leaving and briefly saying why because some parents would freak out on him if he didn’t. Soon the bell rang and children came into the class. Once they were all there and attendance was done, Jeremy went to the front of the class and spoke. “Before we doing anything this morning class, I have some news to share with you.” He said to the class and they all put their books down and were quiet. “I’m very sorry to tell you this class, but I’ll be leaving. After Friday you’ll have a new teacher.” He told them.

“When will you be back?” A student, Catherine, asked.

“I’m very sorry, but I won’t be coming back. Not this time.” He explained. “But we have four days so let’s just enjoy them okay?” He asked.

The kids struggled to understand why he was leaving, but he could only say so much, he spent the next days finishing up things with work and his students, and trying to come to terms with the diagnosis.

Friday came and Jeremy and the students collectively decided to ditch science class and have a going away party. Jeremy brought in some popcorn and got some movies for them to watch. He was surprised when some of his students, Emma, Ryan, Cameron, and Catherine to be specific, all brought other food. They had fruit and vegetables, pretzels, and mini cupcakes among other things. He smiled, his students really seemed to care.

The class put a movie on and had free time making it a good time, but eventually it was time to clean up and get ready to head home.

“We hope you get better soon Mr. Heere.” Emma told him.

“Thank you Emma.” He smiled.

“Mr. Heere could we come visit you sometime?” Catherine asked.

“I don’t know but if we could figure that out it’d be great.” He told her.

“We’ll miss you.” Ryan and Cameron told him.

“I’ll miss you guys too. All of you guys.” Jeremy’s voice wavered a little as he spoke but he did his best to keep it together.

After school was over and he painfully said goodbye to his coworkers. Jake had a game so instead of heading home Jeremy went to Michael’s. He wanted comfort from his best friend.

The second Michael opened the door and saw Jeremy he knew something was up. “What’s wrong? Did you get the biopsy results back?” He wondered immediately.

“We got them on Monday. Today was my last day of work for, god knows how long. It’s cancer Mikey.” Jeremy answered quietly.

Michael pulled Jeremy into a hug. “It’ll be okay. Somehow it’ll be okay.” Michael promised.

“What will be okay?” Rich came into view.

“I didn’t realize you were home.” Jeremy spoke, he pulled away from Michael a little.

“It’s alright, you can always come over but what’s going on?”

“We got the biopsy results back.” He mumbled.

“It’s cancer.” Michael told his husband quietly.

“Oh Jeremy. I’m so sorry.”

“Today was my last day at school. Chemo starts on Wednesday.” Jeremy mentioned.

“That must’ve been hard.” Michael gently rubbed his back.

Jeremy nodded, he wiped his face with his hands before he could cry too much. “This whole thing has made me a mess.” He mumbled.

“It’d be more surprising if it didn’t.” Rich told him.

“I guess.” Jeremy shrugged.

“Jake has a game?” Rich already knew the answer.

Jeremy nodded again.

“Well you’re welcome to stay here for dinner if you’d like.” Michael offered.

“Sound- sounds good.” He mumbled.

“Good.” Rich gave a small smile and returned to the kitchen where he’d been making dinner.

Jeremy stayed for dinner with them and didn’t head home until late. They’d talked about what the doctor said, and then other stuff, mostly about the baby they were expecting soon, their baby girl was due in just a couple weeks and Jeremy was happy for them. At least someone had something good going on in their life.

When Jeremy got home Jake was already home.

“Jeremy! Where have you been?” Jake exclaimed when Jeremy came in the door. He rushed over and hugged Jeremy tightly, holding him close in his arms.

“I was at Rich and Michael’s. I thought I texted you.” He explained.

“I never got anything. You had me so worried.”

Jeremy pulled away. “After school I was feeling pretty upset and I knew you had a game so I just went there.” He shrugged.

“Well you won’t have to worry about my games or practices getting in the way anymore.” Jake reassured Jeremy.

“Jake what did you do?” Jeremy panicked.

“I took leave of absence. I’ll still be paid, not as much as if I was playing, but I’ll still be paid, I can go back any time as long as I stay in shape, and we’re constantly getting money back from investments, plus there’s our savings. There’s no need to worry.” Jake assured.

“I’m not worried about money, I just don’t want you to have to take time off work.” Jeremy looked at the ground.

“Jeremy, you have cancer, you’re gonna need me around, and with play offs starting it’ll be a lot more away games, it wouldn’t work anyways. Plus, if I’m not back by the end of the season, I won’t be eligible for trading, meaning I can stay with this team longer.” Jake pointed out.

“I guess you’re right.” Jeremy accepted it.

“I know this isn’t easy, but we’ll make it through this. I promise.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point, a lot of the story won't be 'pretty'. There's sickness and angst and in general more mature scenes and it doesn't lessen up much. I'm gonna change the rating on this right after writing this, so you've been warned.
> 
> In this chapter we get to see Brooke and Chloe and we get to meet a new character too but on the other hand, Jeremy is starting chemo so that's a thing. Enjoy

_ When Jeremy and Jake first told their friend’s they were going out they were nervous and excited all at once. They all met up after school at pinkberry. Everyone got their frozen yogurt and pushed some tables together they sat down. _

_ “So guys, there’s a reason that were doing this.” Jake started. _

_ Chloe cocked her head to the side and looked at Jake. “What’s up?” She asked. _

_ “Well me and Jake have something we wanna tell you guys.” Jeremy explained. _

_ “What’s going on Jere?” Michael asked. _

_ “Well me and Jake wanted to tell you guys,” He started, he took Jake’s hand under the table. _

_ “That we are going out with each other.” Jake finished, he pulled their hands into view and smiled at Jeremy, who smiled back. _

_ “Aww.” Brooke smiled. _

_ “You guys are so cute together.” Christine told them. _

_ “Dammit. You guys couldn’t have taken a couple months?” Michael asked. _

_ Jake gave a confused look. _

_ “Me and Michael might’ve been placing bets on when you guys would start going out.” Rich explained. “Michael here gets to pay for everything on our next date.” He smirked. _

_ Jake just chuckled and smiled. Life was good. _

Jake, Jeremy, Michael, Rich, Chloe, and Brooke were sitting around a table at their local pinkberry. Christine was still far away filming a movie but she was at a pinkberry near where she was, video chatting with them.

“So me and Jake wanna tell you guys something.” Jeremy said.

“Last time you did this we were told you getting married.” Brooke started.

“Are you guys gonna have a kid?” Chloe guessed.

“No. This time it’s uh, it’s bad news, we’re doing the pinkberry because we all need a treat to distract us from the pain of this news.” Jake told them. 

“Jake, Michael, and Rich already know this, and Christine knows part of it. We didn’t want to tell you until now because you’re already stressed enough with the wedding.” Jeremy told Brooke and Chloe.

“What’s going on?” Brooke asked.

“It was confirmed back on Monday,” Jeremy started but couldn’t finish.

“Jeremy has cancer.” Jake gave the unwanted news.

“Cancer?” Chloe asked.

“I have a stage 2B Ewing Tumor on my right hip bone. I start chemo tomorrow.” Jeremy confirmed.

“Wait, you’ve known since Monday? As in yesterday? Right?” Christine asked.

“No. We’ve known since last Monday, the fourth.” Jake looked down.

“Why did you take so long to tell us?” Brooke questioned.

“Well we didn’t wanna tell anyone until we had for sure answers and then we needed time to come to terms with it.” Jeremy stirred his frozen yogurt.

“Well we want you to know that no matter what, we support you and if there’s anything we can do to help, let us know.” Chloe told them.

“Thank you Chloe.” Jake responded.

The next day Jeremy started chemo. Early in the morning he got up, Jake did too despite protests, and got ready. They went to the hospital and went to a room where Jeremy met with the nurses and additional doctor who would be giving the chemo, they did a quick physical exam to check things like temperature, and blood pressure among other things. Next they took his height and weight to ensure the right dose would be given, they put in an IV and took some blood.

Dr. Meyers then came with the blood work results to double check on things and sign off on the chemotherapy.

“This session will last a couple hours. We may adjust the time in the future, but for now it’ll take three hours. You can read, listen to music, sleep, anything you’d like.” The nurse hooking up the chemo drugs to the IV told him.

Jeremy nodded. He read on his phone for a while before he fell asleep. As time was coming close to being up Jake woke Jeremy up and the nurse and Dr. Meyers gave him and Jake information on helping reduce the side effects of it. It was a lot to take in but between the two they got it all. By the time this finished so had the IV.

“Alright. It’ll be the same thing tomorrow and Friday. Same appointment time, but it’ll take less time because we won’t have to do all the testing we did today. After this you’ll have a six day rest period, and then the other two drugs, two days, and then the cycle restarts. Understand?” Dr. Meyers asked.

Jeremy nodded. 

That night he didn’t experience many side effects but by Saturday, after three doses of chemo, he sure did. He was nauseous and despite techniques and medication he couldn’t keep much of anything down, not to mention he had no appetite to eat anyway. He felt awful.

Tuesday rolled around making it now the 26th, Jeremy was feeling a little better but not by much. Out of nowhere Jeremy got a call which he answered immediately. He was bored out of his mind.

“Hello?” He hadn’t bothered to check the caller ID.

“Hey Jeremy, I know you probably aren’t feeling good right now but you and Jake are about to be uncles, do you wanna come to the hospital?” Michael spoke fast, anticipation in his voice.

“Wait, what? Does that mean, I thought she wasn’t due for another two or three weeks.” Jeremy stammered.

“She wasn’t but I guess she wanted to come early.” Michael explained.

“Me and Jake are on our way. Do Brooke and Chloe know? Do you want them there?” Jeremy asked.

“No but it’d be great if they were.” Michael said.

“I’ll take care of it, we’re on our way. See you soon.” Jeremy spoke with excitement in his voice, something that hadn’t been heard from him recently.

“What’s going on?” Jake questioned.

“Michael and Rich are about to be dads, and we’re about to be uncles. I told Michael that we’re on our way.” Jeremy exclaimed.

“Are you sure you’re okay to go?” Jake asked.

“I’m feeling a little better and I wanna go.” Jeremy begged.

“The chemo poses no threat to the baby?” Jake asked.

“No it doesn’t, it’s been over forty eight hours, so it’s fine, me and the baby are alike in that we should be kept away from sick people. It’s no harm.”

“Let’s go meet our niece.” Jake smiled.

On the way to the hospital Jeremy called Brooke and told them the information. Soon the four of them were waiting for Michael or Rich to come out with news.

“So Jeremy how have you been feeling since the first doses of chemo?” Brooke asked.

“Not the best, but this is a great, very welcome distraction.” He admitted.

“Makes sense.” Chloe said in response. 

The four talked for a little while before Michael came out.

“So we may have had to threaten the nurses, but everyone can come see the baby.” Michael told them excitedly, he had a huge grin on his face.

Everyone followed excitedly and happy. Michael lead them to a large room, it wasn’t the labour and delivery room, but it seemed like a room for family to meet babies, Rich was sitting there with a small pink bundle in his arms, looking absolutely awestruck.

“Rich?” Michael looked at his husband.

“Sorry, she’s just so beautiful.” He spoke and a few silent tears slid down his face. Chloe took a picture of this.

“Don’t be afraid to take a look at her.” Michael told everyone. 

They all gathered around Rich.

“She looks so much like both of you guys!” Brooke exclaimed. “How is that even possible?” She asked.

“She’s what they refer to as a petri dish baby. They took, samples, from both of us and eggs from a donor, they striped the egg of DNA and took the DNA from one of us and put it into the egg and then fertilized it with the other’s stuff and boom. Two guys can have a baby together.” Michael explained.

“That’s so cool.” Chloe said.

“Does she have a name yet?” Jeremy asked.

“We were thinking Claire.” Rich said softly.

“It seems like a good fit.” Jake told them.

“I think so too.” Rich agreed.

A nurse then came in. “Hello Mell family and friends, I’m sorry to interrupt but there’s some paperwork to be done.” The nurse frowned.

“It’s alright.” Michael told her.

“Alright. I’ll leave this here. Let me know when you’re finished.” She handed it to Michael and left.

“Can I hold her?” Brooke asked. “You guys have paperwork.” She said.

“Just be careful.” Rich said.

“If they allow you to hold her, I should be more than fine.” She chuckled and Rich rolled his eyes and handed Brooke the baby.

Michael sat next to Rich as they worked on paperwork. Eventually they came to the pause.

“It uh, it asks of there’s anyone we’d like to name as god parents to her.” Michael said.

“Chloe, Brooke, would you like to be her god mothers?” Rich asked.

Chloe looked at Brooke and they didn’t need to say anything to each other. “We’d be honored to be Claire’s godparents.” Chloe smiled.

Jeremy was standing near Brooke cooing over the baby, as was Chloe and Jake, then he heard this and his heart sank. When Rich and Michael first received the word that they were in fact pregnant for sure, they’d asked Jeremy and Jake to be godparents. He understood why they changed their minds, but it did still hurt.

“Jake, Jeremy, I know we asked you originally but Jeremy with the cancer diagnosis we don’t want to potentially leave you with this responsibility as well.” Michael explained.

“We understand.” Jake replied.

They spent a good hour or so visiting with baby Claire and everyone before Jake and Jeremy headed home. Jeremy was tired so they got ready for bed.

“Jake?” Jeremy asked.

“Yes honey?”

“I just wanna say I’m sorry.” He mumbled.

“For what?”

“Everything.” His voice broke as his eyes welled with tears. “You must hate me, because of me you had to leave work, all you ever get to do is take care of me, you’re wasting so much money on my medical bills, you have to do everything these days, and now because of me, you don’t get to be a godparent.”

“Jeremy, honey, don’t feel bad for that. It’s not your fault your sick, I chose to do these things, and as for the godparent, I understand and I’m not mad at you over it. I’m a little frustrated at the situation, but it’s not you. I understand why Michael and Rich did it.” Jake promised him.

“You’re really not mad at me?” Jeremy asked.

“I swear I’m not.” Jake vowed.

“Okay.” Jeremy said quietly, he didn’t believe it though and went to bed feeling guilty.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the spotty updates and broken promises here. This is mostly just fluff. Wedding fluff to be exact

_When getting ready for their own wedding Jeremy was the anxious mess, and Jake was the one trying to calm down Jeremy but really was only making him more stressed because of how relaxed he himself was being._

_“We made sure that,” Jeremy started._

_“Jeremy, we’ve gone over the to-do list, seven times, we aren’t forgetting anything.” Jake reassured him._

_“Okay but what about,” Jeremy tried._

_“Jeremy. There’s nothing left to worry about.” Jake promised him._

_“But the wedding is in three days and I feel like we’re forgetting something.” Jeremy protested._

_“Jeremy, there’s nothing to forget. You’re going to physically get sick if you keep worrying like this.” Jake told him._

_“I just,” Jeremy paused and actually thought for a moment. “You’re right. I’m sure it’s just nerves.” He said._

_“Thank you. Now why don’t you come to bed, get some sleep. You’ve been up since before light.” Jake told him._

_“Okay.” Jeremy said and went to their room. He chucked his shirt and jeans off and crawled into bed where he curled up next to Jake. “You’re sure everything’s fine?”_

_“Positive. Goodnight. I love you.”_

_“I love you too.” Jeremy smiled and fell asleep in no time flat._

“If you’re not feeling well you don’t have to go.” Jake told Jeremy, who was looking around in their closet.

“Jake, I can’t missing this, besides, I’m not feeling too bad right now.”

“I’m just saying that you shouldn’t feel we have to go if you don’t feel good.” Jake explained.

“I’m fine. We’re their _best men_ or whatever it was. We’re NOT missing the wedding of two of our exes, now our best friends, to each other.” Jeremy deadpanned, before giggling as he came out of their closet. It was two weeks later and they were getting ready for Brooke and Chloe’s wedding.

Jake chuckled. “You know I hadn’t even thought about that.” He admitted.

“Well that’s what it is, if I remember right you and Chloe had sex in almost every room in that house.” Jeremy teased.

Jake scowled for half a second before chuckling. “We did. Sex with you is so much better though.” He pulled on his navy blue socks.

“I’m glad.” He smiled. He began to pull on some black dress pants on.

“You got your navy blue?” Jake asked, as he started tie his own; black, navy, grey, and white striped tie, after finishing buttoning up his white dress shirt and tucking it into his black dress pants.

“Yes, I’m not about to be murdered today.” He chuckled as he pulled on a white and grey checkered striped dress shirt and began to button it.

“Good.” Jake laughed and pulled on his black suit vest and buttoned it.

“Did you hear what Brooke convinced Chloe to do?” Jeremy asked he picked up his navy tie with white polka dots and came over to Jake to help him. He knew how to tie it but he didn’t do it very neatly and he liked Jake doing this for him, while Jake loved to do it for him.

“What did they do?” Jake began to tie Jeremy’s tie for him.

“Remember how we had a candy bar at our wedding?” Jeremy watched Jake’s work.

“Yes.” Jake answered as he pulled Jeremy’s tie to the right tightness.

“Well apparently, according to Brooke, there’s going to be a frozen yogurt bar.” Jeremy told Jake as he stepped away to pull on his black vest.

“It is their thing.” Jake shrugged as he put his shoes on.

“I know, it’s cute.” Jeremy said and did the same.

“Ready?” Jake asked.

“Yep.” Jeremy smiled.

Soon they got to the location where the wedding ceremony would take place. “You to Chloe, me to Brooke.” Jeremy said.

“Yep. See you soon.” Jake smiled and they went to find their friends.

Jeremy knocked on the door to the room where Brooke would be.

“Who is it?” She called out.

“You’re best man and your something blue.” He said through the door.

“Come in Jeremy.” She called out.

Brooke was already in her dress when Jeremy entered the room. The dress was an A-line, empire waist style dress, the neckline was a v-neck, simply leading to the spaghetti straps. It was a very simple dress with a wrap like feature around her waist before falling to a flowy tulle skirt. Her hair was gently curled towards the ends and she had very pale pink flowers in her hair like a headband.

“You look amazing!” He smiled at her.

“Thank you. Can you zip me up? I thought I could do it myself.” She asked.

“Of course.” He smiled and came over to do so. “How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Nervous, excited, happy.” She listed.

“That’s to be expected. I’m sure everything will be fine.” He told her.

“Thank you. You look pretty good yourself ya know. How are you feeling?” She asked as she turned around and fixed his hair.

“I’m fine, Jake already hassled me about it. There’s no need to worry.” He promised her.

“Okay.” She smiled.

Jake knocked on the door to the room where Chloe was getting ready.

“Mom I told you, you’re stressing me out, I don’t want you in there!” Chloe said, sounding very upset.

Jake cautiously opened the door, Chloe was sitting facing away from the door. “I guess it’s a good thing I’m not your mom.” He chuckled.

She turned to face him. “Oh. Hi Jake. I’m sorry about that, she’s just getting on my last nerve.” Chloe explained.

“It’s alright.” He told her. “What do you have left to do?” He asked her.

“Not a whole lot. Could you help me stick these flowers in my hair though? Just kind of tucked along the pieces that pull it back?” She asked, referring to the many small white and light pink flowers on the table.

“I can’t promise it’ll be any good looking.” He chuckled.

“It’s kinda hard to mess this up. You stick them in my hair and they’re big enough pieces it’ll be fine.” She told him.

“Okay.” He chuckled and began to help her. Her hair was in spiral curls, with piece of hair pulled to the back and made to look like they were tied together, holding her hair off her face. “You look very nice.” He told her.

“You clean up pretty well yourself ya know. You just gotta not wear basketball shorts all the time.” She chuckled.

“It’s literally the dress code for my work and I only wear them during games and practice.” He protested.

“I know. I’m just teasing.” She said. “What do you have for navy blue?” She asked.

“It’s in my tie and my socks.” He promised.

“Okay. Jeremy remembered navy blue?”

“Yep, his tie is mostly navy. He’s wearing almost the same thing only different tie and his dress shirt is white and grey checkered.” Jake continued gently tucking flowers into her hair.

“Good.” She smiled. When Jake finished with the flowers Chloe stood up and Jake finally got a good look at her dress.

It was a mermaid style with a ruched bodice, a sweetheart neckline, and the tulle skirt started just above her knee where it flared out. There was an empire waist height jewel beaded belt as well.

“You look stunning.” He told her.

“I better.” She laughed. “But thank you.” She smiled.

“No problem.” He smiled back.

Soon Jake and Jeremy left their respective girls and stood in place, to the sides of the makeshift outdoor altar. Brooke walked down the aisle first, followed by Chloe and around 20 minutes later, the two were married. They dashed down the aisle followed by Jake and Jeremy and they headed over to where pictures were taking place. They took all kinds of pictures and it took quite a while, but Chloe and Brooke had worked this out and they didn’t need to be in the hall for the reception for another 20 or so minutes.

Chloe took the time to take take the flowers out of her hair and let it down because it was getting painful. She put on a navy blue with white detail headband on and they headed for the hall.

There was dinner and then that was cleaned up and the dancing started as well as the frozen yogurt bar set up. Jeremy danced a little but not much and it was to the slower songs. He didn’t want to say anything and be a bother but he was getting tired. Jake was off talking with people while Jeremy headed back to the table and sat down.

“Jeremy how come you’re not dancing?” Brooke came over and asked.

“It’s not really my thing I guess.” He tried.

“You danced lots at your own wedding, and Michael and Rich’s.” She pointed out.

“Then I’m not in the mood.” He tried.

“You’re not feeling well are you?” She asked and sat down beside him but was facing him. To her; he didn’t look like he was doing too good. She put a hand to his forehead to check if he was feverish.

“Just a little tired, I’m fine. I’ll have some water and be back to mingling and whatever.” He told her.

“You’re sure you’re okay though?”

He nodded.

“Okay.” She sighed and headed off to find Jake who was talking with Chloe and Christine.

She went over. “Jake I think you need to go check on Jeremy.”

“What’s wrong?” He asked, forgetting his conversation.

“He says he’s tired and doesn’t look too good.” She explained.

“Okay. Thank you for telling me Brooke.”

“Of course.” She smiled and Jake went to go find Jeremy. He was still at the table but was looking away from everything.

“Jer, honey?” Jake sat down next to him.

“Hmm?” He asked, turning to face Jake. He wiped his face a little, but it was clear he’d been softly crying and he looked very tired.

“Brooke told me you aren’t feeling good. Why are you crying?” He asked softly.

“I’m pathetic.” He mumbled.

“What? Jeremy, no. Why would you think that?”

“I’m tired and ready to sleep and this wedding is nowhere near over. I’m not even dancing.” He explained.

“It’s alright Jeremy. No one expects you to dance, I’m surprised you’ve lasted this long, you’re doing quite well.” Jake reassured him.

“I just feel bad about it.”

“I get that, but you didn’t plan this. Let’s get some frozen yogurt and see how we feel after that okay?” Jake offered.

Jeremy smiled a little and nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you too. You’re doing great.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's angst in this one. Jeremy has some pent up feelings and generally is just feeling angrier, which he is allowed to, life is pretty shitty for him right now.

_ The first time Jake or Jeremy ever said they loved the other was at a sleepover with them, Michael, and Rich. _

_ Michael and Rich had already fallen asleep, Jake and Jeremy were laying next to each other.  _

_ Jeremy was sleepy but not yet asleep he was laying on his back facing away from Jake, who was laying in his side facing Jeremy. _

_ Jake didn’t know this, he thought Jeremy was asleep. “I love you.” He whispered quietly. _

_ Jeremy heard this and his face flushed, but he was quiet, and didn’t say anything, he closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. _

_ Jake pulled the blanket up over Jeremy and kissed the side of his head before settling down and going to sleep. _

_ The next morning Jeremy was the first one up, he rolled over and faced Jake, he checked to see if Jake was still sleeping, he was and it was quite obvious. No one else was awake yet either. _

_ Jeremy brushed some hair out of Jake’s face, and couldn’t help but think about how cute Jake was. “I love you too.” He whispered. _

_ Jake of course didn’t respond, but Jeremy expected that. _

_ Jeremy snuggled up closer to Jake and enjoyed his presence. _

_ In his sleep Jake wrapped his arms around Jeremy, and Jeremy didn’t need to hear any words to know in that moment that he was loved. _

A couple days later while Christine was still in town Brooke and Chloe invited Jake, Jeremy, Michael, Rich, and Christine over because they rarely got to do anymore. Michael and Rich would come and much to the girl’s excitement they’d be bringing baby Claire, Christine had no plans and would be going too.

“Jeremy you wanna head over to Brooke and Chloe’s to hang out? Christine, Michael, Rich, and Claire will all be there.” Jake asked, he didn’t know what Jeremy would say, he loved his friends but he’d gone for another dose of chemo earlier.

“I wish I could but I’m really not feeling good. You can go though.” Jeremy told him.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying home."

“Jake, go. You know we don’t get to hang out with our friends very often these days, so go. Have some fun.” Jeremy said.

“Okay. I won’t spend too long there. Do you need me pick anything up on the way home?”

“No, I think we’re good.”

“Okay. I love you. I’ll see you when I get home.” Jake smiled softly.

Jeremy didn’t respond and returned to the book he’d been reading.

Jake got home a couple hours later. “Babe, I’m home.” He called out.

“In the living room. Did you have fun?”

“Would’ve been better if you were there.” Jake spoke, trying to make Jeremy feel better.

“Well I’m sorry I’m not feeling good! In case you forgot Jacob but I had chemo this morning and that kind of makes you feel shitty!” Jeremy didn’t shout but he spoke angrily, he used Jake’s actual name to show just how mad he was.

“I know, I know. I just meant that I and everyone missed having you there. We all wished, especially me, you’d been feeling better so that everyone could’ve been there.” Jake tried to calmly explain to Jeremy.

“Well, sorry to burst your bubble but good days are few and far between so you’re just gonna have to get used to me ‘not being my usual self’. Sorry if that hurts you, but surprise, that’s what happens when you have cancer!”

“Jeremy, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not saying this to be mean or hurt you, I mean it in that I want you to be better, I know what you’re going through and I wish you weren’t going through this."

“Well guess what? There’s no changing it! I’m sick and that’s all there is to it! I don’t think you actually understand what this is like for me!”

“Jeremy honey please calm down.”

“Don’t honey me. I’m sick of this shit. I’m sick of being babied. Yeah okay, I’m sick, I’m not a child though and I’m sick of being treated like it.” Jeremy said and left the living room. He went through the kitchen and to the door where he began pulling shoes on.

“Jeremy what are you doing?” Jake asked exasperatedly.

“I’m going out."

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Jeremy, where are you even going to go? It’s getting late.” Jake looked at Jeremy.

“There we go! You’re babying me again! Just like always these days! I’m sick of this shit. I’m going to go out and do something because I’m an  _ adult _ and I can do whatever the fuck I please. I’ll be home later. Don’t wait up.” Jeremy spoke bitterly, then grabbed the keys to his car and walked out the front door.

Jeremy sat in his car for a while just in a bit of a daze; thinking about what he’d said and done. Then he drove around a little. Eventually he ended up at Michael and Rich’s house he nervously knocked on the door, opting to not ring the bell because he didn’t want to risk waking up Claire.

“Jeremy? What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t feeling good.” Michael said when he answered the door.

“I’m not, but I got pissed off at Jake.”

“What happened?” Michael asked.

“I uh, well I, I guess, fuck, I don’t wanna get into it right now. Can I just come in? I wanna talk and get my mind off what happened.” Jeremy asked.

“Of course.” Michael smiled.

They talked for a little bit and Rich offered to make some food because Jeremy looked like he hadn’t eaten but Jeremy still really wasn’t feeling good.

“I just had an idea.” Michael said suddenly.

“What is it.” Jeremy looked at Michael.

“Okay, so the chemo is making you feel really shitty and you can’t eat right?” Michael asked.

“Yeah?” Jeremy seemed confused.

“And what happens like five minutes after getting high?”

Jeremy just looked confused.

“You get the munchies. Maybe if you got high you could eat something!”

Jeremy seemed to be thinking about it when Rich spoke. “I love you guys but you’re not smoking in the house, I don’t want Claire to be around that.” Rich told them.

“Of course not!” Michael exclaimed. “We’ll go out and do it somewhere, it’s late enough it should be fine and if anyone asks questions only Jeremy’s doing and he’s doing it because of the chemo, plus it’ll use up the weed I have left and I don’t plan on buying much more with Claire around now. If Jeremy wants.”

“It’s worth a shot?” Jeremy shrugged.

“Okay. But be careful, please?” Rich asked.

“I promised we will, honey. We’ll be back later.” He smiled. Michael went, got the stuff and then him and Jeremy got into Michael’s car and they found a quiet park where they simply parked the car and smoked there.

Jeremy couldn’t tell if it actually made him feel better or if he was just high, but for the time being he felt pretty decent for once. They went and got food because Jeremy finally had a bit of an appetite like they’d hoped he would. 

After eating Jeremy soon passed out. Michael drove to his and Jake’s apartment where he parked his car and called Jake.

“Michael? What’s going on? And have you heard from Jeremy this evening?” Jake asked when he answered the phone.

“I’m calling because I’ve got him here with me. I’m outside the front of your building. He fell asleep in my car.” Michael told Jake simply.

“Oh thank god. I’ll be down in a minute.” Jake said and hung up. He took the stairs down because even though in the end it’d probably take longer than the elevator, it felt faster. He soon came up to Michael’s car worried-looking.

“What happened?” Jake asked when he got over to the car.

“He showed up at our house, he said you guys had a fight or something, he didn’t give specifics. He just wanted to chill for a while, eventually we decided to leave the house and smoke some weed, he felt better and finally got hungry so we stopped for food and he ate a decent amount. He kept it down and we were just driving around and he fell asleep.” Michael explained.

“I’d be mad about the weed but you got him to eat, on a chemo day, post chemo session which is a minor miracle.” Jake responded.

“I’m just glad I could help him in that it got him to eat.” He chuckled.

“Thank you for this Michael. He’s having a hard time lately and anything like this helps, although please don’t make the weed a normal thing?” Jake smiled.

Michael chuckled and nodded.

Jake carried Jeremy up to their apartment and put him in bed, hoping Jeremy wouldn’t be mad in the morning. He went to sleep too, now knowing Jeremy was okay.

Jeremy woke up the next morning, he was confused at first because he didn’t know he got in his own bed, then he came up with a solution before remembering what happened with Jake the previous night.

He got up and changed before going looking for Jake, whom he found to be sitting on the couch.

“Hey.” He spoke quietly.

“Good morning.” Jake looked up at him.

“I’m really sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you like that. It wasn’t cool.” He apologized.

“It’s alright honey.” Jake smiled softly.

“I- okay.” Jeremy said and went to the kitchen for something to drink. Jake wasn’t mad at him so for now he was satisfied with the apology.

Jeremy spent most of the day on his laptop with headphones on watching movies in their guest room. This was very unlike Jeremy, usually he’d watch movies on the TV in their living room with Jake there even if Jake wasn’t interested in the movie. This worried Jake, so he called his best friend to ask for advice.

Rich soon answered the phone. “Hey man what’s up?” He asked.

“Is it a bad time?”

“Nope. Michael is putting Claire down for a nap so I have some time. What’s going on?”

“I just wanna talk I guess? Jeremy’s acting odd. I’m worried about him.” He explained.

“What’s going on?”

“Well last night he got angry at me for not much reason, and then he apologized this morning but it wasn’t a normal; Jeremy apology,”

“What do you mean?”

“He apologized, I told him it was fine, which it is, but he left it at that.”

“He just left it?”

“He left it. He never leaves it at that. He always double checks and triple checks and then there’s usually some hugging involved and then he checks again, but not today.”

“That is odd.”

“And he’s been absent all day. He’s sitting in the guest bedroom on his laptop watching movies with headphones on and the door shut. Usually he sits on the couch and puts whatever on regardless of if I’m there or not and he’s usually very cuddly while watching movies. It’s just really odd and I’m worried about him.”

“It does sound odd.”

“Should I be worried? I’m worried but am I like, overreacting?” Jake asked.

“No, I think you should be concerned. It kinda seems like he’s trying to distance himself from you.” Rich told him.

Jake sat back and thought about it, and he hated to admit it, but Rich could very well be right. Maybe Jeremy was in fact trying to distance himself from Jake.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm an angst addict. What can I say?

_ When Jake first admitted he had feelings for Jeremy, the latter thought it was a joke. After the squip-cident Jeremy, Michael, Christine, Brooke, Chloe, Jake, and Rich became friends. Michael and Rich had been dating since shortly after Jake’s halloween party, Chloe dated an array of different guys, most didn’t last a month, Brooke and Jake stayed single despite many offers, Christine did do that lunch-time date with Jeremy, she just wasn’t into him, after that Jeremy stepped away from the dating scene, or so it seemed that way. _

_ It was English, the one subject that only Jeremy and Jake were together for. _

_ “Hey Jeremy.” Jake greeted as he sat down beside the shorter boy. _

_ “Hey Jake.” Jeremy smiled and class started. _

_ Once the teacher stopped instructing and left them to work Jake passed Jeremy a note. _

_ Jeremy took the note and was somewhat confused. He unfolded the piece of paper that had been torn from Jake’s notebook. Once unfolded he found the page had a simple three words on it. ‘I like you’ the page read, written in Jake’s scrawly handwriting. _

_ “Wait what?” Jeremy asked. _

_ “I couldn’t figure out how to tell you.” Jake explained. _

_ “I, you really mean this?” Jeremy looked up. “It’s not some joke? Not that I think you’d do something like that but maybe it was a dare from your teammates or something, that’s what this is, I-” _

_ Jake cut him off. “It’s not a joke or a dare. I like you Jeremy.” _

_ Jeremy blushed and smiled. “I think I like you too.” _

Jeremy kept the movie thing up the next day too, he watched movies and TV shows for the rest of the weekend, he ate meals with Jake, and slept in their bed still but all his free time was away from Jake. He wasn’t trying to hurt Jake, just, distance himself a little. They’d always been super close, but he felt like it was time for a little distance.

The truth was half the time he was watching movies and stuff, but the other half, he was thinking about stuff, mostly his estimated survival rate, it was still fifty percent. He almost hated that more than if the chances were less than fifty. He knew that no matter the rate there was a chance he could live or die, but fifty percent, to him, might as well be not knowing. He thought a lot about that. 

He also started writing things, mostly goodbye letters to everyone he cared about, incase he didn’t survive. They weren’t easy to write and everyone of them was already insanely long but he hadn’t finished any of them, some were near completion, others he still had so much left to say. He didn’t know how to end these letters. He kept them on a different google account than his main one, he just used it to give to stores and stuff to kept junk off his regular one, Jake didn’t know that he actually used it for anything which meant no one could find these letters unless he wanted them to, which is what he wanted.

Jeremy sighed as he closed his computer lid. He’d been writing and he didn’t notice it was getting down in battery percentage until it died. He looked at the time. It was getting late. He sighed and went to get ready for bed.

He took his computer and left the room. He put in on charge in the dining room and went to the bathroom, he showered then headed it his and Jake’s room wrapped in a towel. In the past if he did this chances were that if Jake saw he’d be on him in seconds, the towel gone in no time flat as Jake took him to bed. Now, Jake just looked over at Jeremy and returned to whatever it was he was doing on his computer.

Jeremy frowned a little, it wasn’t that he wanted to do things with Jake, it was that he might feel different if he did have a tumor and his body pumped full of chemo. He sighed a little and pulled on some pajamas before laying down in bed and pulling a blanket over himself. He looked away from the door and continued thinking, quickly zoning out.

Jeremy was surprised when he suddenly felt Jake cimb into bed as well. He hadn’t heard his husband come in the room. 

“I didn’t hear you come in.” Jeremy told Jake.

“I thought you were sleeping and didn’t want to wake you up.” Jake explained.

“Oh.” Jeremy said simply.

“Honey, can I ask you something?” Jake asked.

“What is it?” He asked in response, a million terrible things running through his mind. He rolled over to face Jake.

“Jeremy I, the last two days, you’ve spent a lot of time in the guest bedroom.” Jake started.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I, I’m wondering why. All you do is like, watch movies, which you can do on the TV in the living room.”

“It’s quieter in there?”

“Jeremy, have I ever disturbed your movie watching?”

“No. But I, I’m also writing too so the quiet is nice?"

“Jeremy, I think you’re avoiding me.” Jake remarked.

“What?”

“I think that you’re trying to avoid me.” Jake repeated.

“I, no, I just, want some quiet alone time is all.”

“Really? Because previously you’d get that by telling me that and I’d go for a run or a nice long workout, or I’d take off for an away game early. You haven’t said anything about wanting time alone.”

“I didn’t want to bother you seeing as how you’re already doing so much for me.”

“Jeremy, you don’t have to feel bad about me doing what I’ve done these past weeks. I chose to do those things, and I’d be a real shitty husband if I didn’t.” Jake told Jeremy.

“The season was almost over, you could’ve finished it.” Jeremy told him.

“Honestly, no I couldn’t. The guilt would’ve eaten me alive.” Jake grumbled. “I just want to know if you’re trying to avoid me or not.”

“I, okay, but I still feel bad, I mean, there’s all the regular bills, plus the medical bills, and you’re the only one bringing in money these days. You do all the cooking and cleaning lately and you’re taking care of me. You shouldn’t have to do all that.” Jeremy pointed out.

“Jeremy. We’ve talked about this before. If I had a problem with it I’d say something. Through sickness and health remember? I vowed to take care of you no matter what, and I meant that.” Jake stressed.

“I just feel like I’m burdening you.”

“You’re not. But Jeremy, please tell me and be honest. Are you avoiding me?”

“Maybe I am, but it’s not you, like I said, I’ve just wanted some time alone and I didn’t want to be a bother and ask you to leave the house.” Jeremy admitted.

“Jeremy you don’t have to be afraid to tell me things. If you want something just tell me, I swear I won’t get mad.”

“Really?” Jeremy asked, not believing it.

“Really.” Jake confirmed.

“Okay. I want to stop having this conversation.” Jeremy tried.

“Jeremy, that’s not what I meant.”

“But isn’t it?”

“Jeremy, what are you trying to get at? I’m trying to figure out what’s going on with you and you’re just pushing me away and changing the subject.”

“Fine. I have been avoiding you and I haven’t told you because I don’t want you worrying about why I’ve been doing it.” He paused but before Jake could say anything he continued. “You said if I wanted something to tell you,”

“What about that?” Jake asked, growing frustrated but not letting Jeremy know that.

“Well, right now, I want you to leave me alone.” Jeremy told him.

“Jeremy, I, you’re not serious? We’re going to bed, it’s late.” Jake responded.

“Dead. Ass. Serious. Leave.” Jeremy commanded.

“Wow. Okay, I can understand being moody, and not feeling good, and wanting time alone but kicking me out of my own bed because what? You wanna prove a point? What the hell Jeremy?” Jake asked.

“I want time to myself, you’re making me feel crappy.” Jeremy shrugged.

Jake was shocked by what Jeremy said, he struggled to come up with words to respond to what Jeremy had said.

“What? Problem with it? What happened to I won’t get mad and I’ll do anything?” Jeremy practically taunted Jake.

“I’m just trying to not say the wrong thing and hurt you even though you don’t seem to care about doing that to me. What the hell is going on with you? You’re being a dick to be perfectly honest, Jeremy. I don’t know how to react to this. You’ve never acted like this before and I’m shocked at it in all honesty.”

“Well, sorry to be so shocking, but guess what Jake? I’m a human, I have emotions, I feel things, to add onto that, I have a deadly disease and could die which I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, so yeah, I’m pretty damn emotional, and right now I’m angry, upset, and I want to be alone right now. Does that answer all your questions?”

“I, Jeremy. I’m sorry that I’ve upset you. Please don’t be too mad at me.” Jake begged.

“Just give me some time alone okay?” Jeremy asked. “I need space right now.”

Jake blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. “Okay.” He said simply. “Sleep well. I love you.” Jake tried.

Jeremy rolled back over and said nothing. 

Jake sighed and left the room. He went and tried to sleep in the guest bedroom but found he couldn’t sleep there. He tried the couch too and it just wasn’t working. He couldn’t sleep. It was around two in the morning when he gave up and got up. He went and changed into some basketball shorts and a t-shirt. He grabbed a basketball from their storage room, and a water bottle, and silently left the house.

Jake walked to the school Jeremy worked for and with the intention of shooting hoops on the small basketball court. 

It was a little chilly but he knew once he got running around he’d be fine. He set his phone and water bottle down away from where they could get stepped on then did a small stretch before he started tossing the ball around, he didn’t usually like to practice or do anything like this but right now it was nice. He could let all his emotions out because no one was around. He let out his anger at everything and was able to deal with the sadness he felt too.

He threw the ball around, he had no set thing he was doing, just shooting hoops and he was having a good time. He was running and dribbling the ball about to shoot when he stepped on one of his shoe laces that had come untied. He was falling and before he could do anything about it, he fell to the ground and smacked his head hard against the pavement. 

He was pretty sure he passed out briefly, and when he regained consciousness his ears were ringing, he felt pressure in his head and the beginnings of a headache, he felt dizzy and nauseous and knew something was wrong. He got up, his knees were scraped up and he couldn’t quite tell what else was wrong. He knew something was wrong though. He went over to where he put his phone and his water bottle. He took a sip of water before using some of it to clean up the scrapes on his knees. He was feeling dizzy so he laid down, planning to just lay down until it subsided but the second he was down he passed out again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst break

_It wasn’t until they’d been on three dates that Jake asked if he could call Jeremy his boyfriend. Jake was being a gentleman because he’d finally realized that would get him a lot further than how he’d done things previously. He didn’t want to mess things up with Jeremy. They held hands, hugged, and cuddled lots, but had yet to kiss._  

_ They were just getting back from a date. They’d seen a movie and Jake had driven Jeremy home and walked him to the door. _

_ “Jeremy,” Jake started before Jeremy went inside. _

_ “Yes?” _

_ “I, before you go inside, would it be alright if maybe I kissed you?” Jake asked quietly. “We don’t have to if you’re not comfortable. Is this awkward? I feel like it’s awkward, I really don’t wanna mess things up between us, uh-” _

_ Jeremy stopped him. “It wouldn’t have been awkward if you’d stopped rambling.” _

_ “I’m sorry.” Jake looked down. _

_ “It’s alright.” _

_ “I guess I should go.” Jake sighed and turned to leave. _

_ “Jake wait.” Jeremy grabbed his hand. _

_ “Yes?” Jake turned back to Jeremy. _

_ “It’d be more than alright.” He told Jake, who took a second before leaning in and softly kissed him. Life was good. _

Jeremy was up around five in the morning. He’d gotten cold and woke up, then remembered everything with Jake and realized he wanted Jake back in bed with him. He wrapped a blanket around himself and went to get Jake. First he checked the living room to see if Jake was on the couch, which he wasn’t. He then went to the guest bedroom and looked for Jake there.

It was obvious Jake had been there, but he wasn’t anymore. He looked around the whole apartment to find Jake wasn’t home. His car keys were still hung up in the hall but his phone was gone. Jeremy then noticed that his practice court shoes were gone and looked to find his basketball gone from the storage room. He sighed and called Jake.

Jake woke up cold and confused. His phone was ringing, he sat up and remembered what happened. He rubbed his eyes a bit and answered. “Hello?”

“Jake! Oh god! Where did you go? I’m so sorry for everything I said and I wish I hadn’t said it and I wish I hadn’t sent you away. Where are you? Please come home.” Jeremy spoke frantically and Jake had to turn down the call volume because of the headache he had.

“I walked over to the school to shoot some hoops because I couldn’t sleep, then something happened.” Jake slurred slightly.

“Jake, are you drunk?” Jeremy asked.

“No! I was shooting hoops and I think I fell. My knees are scraped up and my head hurts a lot.” Jake explained.

“Oh god. Jake, honey, where are you exactly?” Jeremy asked, he had already thrown off the blankets, and was pulling on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt, he grabbed Jake a hoodie and was getting his car keys.

“Basketball court at your work, by the staff lot.” He mumbled.

“Okay, I’m coming to get you okay? Stay where you are and stay awake for me please Jake? Can you do that for me honey?”

“I’m cold.” He told Jeremy.

“I’m bringing you a sweater okay? You’ll be alright.”

“I’m really sorry Jeremy.” He told Jeremy over the phone.

“What for?” Jeremy asked.

“For being mean, and leaving the house, and getting hurt and worrying you, you’re probably panicking right now, are you panicking? Please don’t panic.” Jake rambled.

Jeremy was most definitely panicking but he wouldn’t say it. “No, honey, it’s okay. I’m fine and you will be too, I promise.” Jeremy was already in the car on the way to where Jake was.

“Okay.” Jake said. “Can I lay down, if I promise to stay awake? My head hurts and I feel dizzy.” He asked.

“Of course baby.”

Jake laid down. “It’s a bit better.” He announced.

“Okay. Jake do you remember what happened?”

“It’s really fuzzy. I remember I was shooting hoops and then I was falling, and I didn’t realize it until it was too late. I think I blacked out because I just remember my ears suddenly ringing, they still are faintly, and I felt really dizzy and sick and stuff. I went over to my phone and water bottle. I was super dizzy so I thought I’d lay down until it passed but then I guess I passed out again." 

“That doesn’t sound good.” Jeremy commented.

“I don’t feel good.”

“I know honey, I know. I’m almost there.” Jeremy promised.

“Okay.”

Jeremy soon got there. He hastily parked the car and got out quickly, leaving the door open. He dashed over to Jake.

“Jake! Oh god. Honey I’m so sorry, I hadn’t said those things last night we wouldn’t be here. Please forgive me.” Jeremy begged.

“It’s okay Jer. Thank you for coming to get me.”

“Of course honey, I wasn’t going to leave you to just head home yourself, you’re hurt.”

“I don’t think it’s that bad.”

“Jake, honey, it seems like you have a concussion. It’s bad. I’m taking you to the ER to get checked out.” Jeremy told him.

Jake didn’t fight it. He laid down in the back seat of the car and Jeremy drove to the ER.

A few hours later they were leaving the ER Jake had a mild concussion and had been instructed to rest lots both physically and mentally.

The second they were in the door Jeremy turned from the one who needed taking care of to the one who was taking care of the other guy. “Jake honey, go take a nap.”

“I’m not tired.” He said and yawned in the middle of it.

Jeremy stared at him.

“Okay, okay. I’m going.” He sighed. “Wait don’t you have chemo today?”

“Yeah, but I’ll be fine. I’ll eat some breakfast, go, come back and make us some soup okay?”

“Are you sure you can do that alone?”

“Jake, the doctor said not to think of stressful things. Go nap.” Jeremy commanded lovingly.

“Okay. I love you.” Jake told him.

“I love you too.” Jeremy smiled and went on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Have a good nap.”

“I will.” He yawned again and went to their room to sleep.

Jake slept for several hours before he woke up, after all he’d been through, he needed it. He got up and went to the living room. Jeremy had pulled one of their bar stools near the stove and was sitting on it while stirring the soup he said he’d make.

“Hey.” Jake mumbled.

“Hi honey. How are you feeling?” Jeremy asked, getting up off the stool.

“Better than earlier.” He gave a small smile. “What about you?”

“Better than after previous chemo treatments.”

“That’s good.” Jake smiled.

“I hope you’re in the mood for chicken noodle soup because it, is, done.” He turned the stove off.

“ _ Your _ chicken noodle soup or pre-made stuff.”

“I don’t use big pots for pre-made stuff.” He said and gestured to the large pot on the stove.

“Jeremy you’re the best! That’s so much work on a chemo day, this is amazing I can’t say thank you enough.” Jake said.

“I wanted it myself anyway so don’t stress. And it’s not that much work. I really only had to cut up the chicken, and carrots, put them in water with canned corn, add the soup stock, put the barley in, put the noodles in, and stir until cooked. No big fuss.” He smiled.

“Okay.” Jake sounded unsure.

“Don’t stress over it.” He told Jake. “You’re lucky I’m letting you out of bed.”

“I guess.” He chuckled a little.

The next couple of days continued like this. Jake soon started feeling better which was good and after what happened Jeremy wasn’t talking to Jake quite as much but at least he was around insteading of hiding in the guest room.

“Jakey,” Jeremy whined about a week later, they were on the couch and Jeremy was wrapped up in a blanket while Jake was in shorts.

“Yes baby?” Jake paused the movie and asked.

“My feet are cold, and kinda numb and tingly and it’s bothering me.” He whined.

“Aww, I’m sorry. Do you think there’s anything that would help?” Jake asked.

“Maybe some big fluffy socks?” He looked up at Jake.

“Sure. I’ll grab a pair and throw another in the dryer for bedtime okay?” Jake offered.

“Sounds nice, thank you.” Jeremy smiled.

Jake soon returned and Jeremy pulled the socks on.

“Any idea why this is happening?” Jake asked.

“No. Maybe it’s related to everything else?” He suggested.

“We can ask when we go tomorrow.” Jake told him.

“Jake you don’t need to be there for every dose of chemo.”

“I want to be. To support you. And I don’t have anywhere else I’d rather be than with you, supporting you.”

“I, okay.” Jeremy smiled slightly.

The next morning Jake and Jeremy got ready, and left early. They had to do some blood work before they actually started the chemo.

“So I have a question,” Jeremy started as they sat with Dr. Meyers, while she watched over the nurse doing this.

“Anything.” Dr. Meyers told him.

“Well the past couple days my uh, my feet are numb and tingly most of the time. They’re also cold lots and kinda sensitive too? Is it maybe related to the chemo or something or am I just embarrassing myself?” Jeremy asked.

“It is probably related to the chemo. One of the drugs you on has been known to cause nerve damage. We can’t do a whole lot about that being caused, but there is some stuff we can do to help alleviate the symptoms.” She told him.

“Thank you.” He said softly.

Once Jeremy was set up with the chemo and him and Jake were alone he spoke. “Another fucking thing wrong with me because of this damn cancer and this retarded chemo.” He grumbled.

“I know it’s not easy Jer, but we’ll make it through this. I promise.” Jake smiled softly, hoping to the highest heavens it was true.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, fair warning, this chapter is awkward, but I did it because this can be what it's like for people going through this stuff. Stuff gets misrepresented by the media so much. Cancer does automatically equal hair loss and nausea and it doesn't magically go into remission with a couple doses of chemo so the person is back to full health in a couple episodes. If you don't like it just skip the chapter or leave ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Over the next month Jeremy talked to his friends a little less, talked to Jake a little less and didn’t try to spend as much time with him or his friends either. He wasn’t pushing them away exactly, it was more like he was trying to stubbly distance himself from them, and so far it was working.

It was now July 24th, and Jeremy had been receiving chemo for nine weeks. Today he was going for scans to see if the tumor had gone down in size, stayed the same size, or grown in size. He obviously hoped for the first, but would be fine with anything but the latter.

He got up early and went to the hospital. They did the scans, and took some blood work and such too, despite it not being a chemo day.

“You’re results will be back Monday. Can you be at my office for ten in the morning?” Dr. Meyers asked him.

“Yes.” He told her.

“Good, do you think you husband will be able to accompany you? It’s important to have a good support system for things like this.”

“We’ll both be there.” Jeremy promised.

“Great.” She smiled.

Jeremy headed home.

“I would’ve gone with you if you’d woken me up.” Jake told Jeremy when he came in the door.

“You looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to wake you.” Jeremy shrugged. “Besides it was just the scans and some blood work.”

“Okay. When you get the results back?” Jake asked.

“Me, and I hope you too, will head down to Dr. Meyers’ office Monday morning for them.”

“Of course I’ll be there.” Jake smiled softly. “Come here.” He said after a minute. “You never talk with me or cuddle with me anymore.”

Jeremy came over and rested against Jake’s side, and felt Jake’s arm around him. Jeremy smiled a little. “Sorry for that. The chemo has just been making me feel worse lately, I guess.” He shrugged.

“I worry about you ya know.” Jake told him.

“I know. You always have.”

“I mean lots more now.” Jake told him.

“Oh.”

“You just seem so absent lately.”

“I’m sorry.” Jeremy looked up at Jake.

“It’s alright.” Jake said and softly began to pet his hair.

“I love you and I love that but please don’t? I, I’m trying to be really careful so that it doesn’t fall out.” Jeremy admitted quietly.

“I don’t think it will, but I’ll stop.” Jake said and did just that. “How are you feeling today otherwise?”

“Nervous, anxious, on edge, worried, concerned,” Jeremy rattled off.

“Jer, honey, those are all synonyms.” Jake told him.

“I know. I just, can’t pick one of them.” He sighed.

“It’s okay Jerbear. You’ll be alright.”

“Jerbear?”

“Yes. I’ve called you that before.” Jake chuckled.

“No I know. You just haven’t called me that in a long time.” Jeremy explained.

“Oh.” Jake said. “Is it a problem?”

“No. No of course not. I was just surprised after not hearing it for so long.”

“Okay. Can we nap together  _ Jerbear _ ?” Jake smiled softly.

Jeremy smiled softly. “Sure.”

“Perfect.” He smiled back. Jake picked Jeremy up and carried him to their bed and placed him down before joining him and wrapping himself around the shorter boy.

“I love you.” He smiled.

The weekend was long and torturous but soon it was Monday morning and what seemed like very quickly all the sudden, Jeremy and Jake were sitting in Dr. Meyers office.

“Good morning, how are you today?” She asked.

“Nervous.” They said in unison.

“I’m not surprised.” She said. “But we have some good news, a little bad news, but I don’t think it’ll be a huge concern.” She smiled.

“Let’s hear the good news first.” Jeremy told her.

“The good news is, you tumor has gone down in size, meaning that we can now schedule tumor removal surgery.” She smiled.

Jake’s face lit up. “Jeremy! That’s amazing! This is amazing.” He said.

“It won’t mean your cancer free, but you’ll be much closer to that hopefully.” Dr. Meyers explained.

“It’s still a good thing though.” Jeremy told her and Jake.

“It is indeed, now for the not so good news. We’ve been monitoring your organs and other things as you may know, and we’ve found something a little concerning but I would imagine it hopefully won’t be a big deal to you guys.” She told them.

“What is it?” Jeremy asked.

“We’ll we’ve noticed that there’s a good chance the chemo is lowering your fertility. I’d like to do a little more testing on that to confirm it but it is most likely that that’s the case.” She frowned a little.

Jeremy looked down.

“We’ll I, I don’t think it’s a big issue, I mean I can still have kids of we want but we’ve never really even thought about having kids seriously, and there’s always adoption.” Jake responded.

“Exactly.” She smiled. “Jeremy, do you mind if we test to confirm this?” She asked.

“I guess not.” He sighed.

“Okay. I already set up an appointment for you to do that today, but if it doesn’t work for you we can move it.”

“I have nothing else to do.” He told her.

“Alright.” She said and give him the information he needed. They finished up there and set a date for tumor removal, a week from then and then there was a little time between when they finished there and Jeremy was meeting with the urologist, not enough to go home though. Jeremy and Jake simply sat and waited.

“This is embarrassing.” Jeremy mumbled to Jake.

“I’m sure it won’t be too bad.” Jake smiled reassuringly. 

Jeremy was soon brought into a room. “Hello Jeremiah, I’m Dr. John Morris.” The urologist said.

“I pre- uh. Hi.” Jeremy said. He’d rather not have this guy call him Jeremy. It was already awkward enough for him.

“I’ve gone over your file, so I think we’ll get right on with questions. There’s no judgement here, I’ve had patients in much more awkward positions than this. Any previous surgeries?” He asked.

“Nope. I’ve had a biopsy but you probably have that on my file.” He explained.

“I do. Other than the chemo and medication listed here are you taking any other prescription drugs?”

“No.”

“What are your exercise habits like?”

“Before I found out about the cancer, I walked instead of driving most places, I worked out with my husband sometimes.” He shrugged.

“Alright. Any recreational drug use? I’m sworn to confidentiality so I can’t tell anyone, you won’t get in trouble for it, I just need to know for medical reasons, and I won’t judge.”

“I, I’ve smoked marijuana.”

“How often would you say you smoked it?”

“Uh, once or twice a week as a teen and then it slowed down once I started college. I don’t do it much at all anymore.”

“Alright. Now for something a little more uncomfortable, your sex life, when would you say you became sexually active?”

Jeremy grew embarrassed. “I think technically around 17 or 18.” He answered quietly.

“Technically?” The doctor asked.

Jeremy looked away from the doctor. “I uh, self pleasured before then, but the first time I actually did anything with someone as 17 or 18 as I said.” He explained.

“Okay.” The doctor said. “Have you ever had any STI’s?”

“Nope. I’ve been with one person my whole life. He was clean when we started doing stuff and neither of us have been with anyone else since.”

“Okay.” The doctor jotted all this down. “Now, I know that chemotherapy can make you feel sick and under the weather, but I need a semen sample from you for analysis. Do you think you’ll be able to provide it here or will you need to head home and drop it off tomorrow?”

“I, uh, I can try to provide it now.”

“Alright, and you said your husband is here? If you need help, I don’t see why he couldn’t assist you. We have magazines but they might not be of much help to you.”

Jeremy wasn’t showing it, but he was dying from how embarrassed he was. This was probably the worst, most awkward thing he’d ever done. He wouldn’t bother mentioning that the magazines wouldn’t be completely useless though. “Okay.” He practically squeaked instead.

“Alright. Here is the container, take all the time you need you can drop it straight off at the lab when finished it’s just down the hall.”

“Alright.” Jeremy took the container, it was in a bag for obvious reasons by no surprise. He left the room.

“Hey. How’d it go? That didn’t take long.” Jake stood and went over to him.

“I, we’re not quite done yet.” Jeremy explained. “The doctor needs a, sample.”

Jake didn’t get it and his face showed it.

“A sample of me, of my, stuff.” Jeremy looked at his shoes.

“Oh. Do you need like, help or something?” Jake offered.

“Uh, maybe I’ll go into the bathroom and we can just talk on the phone or something?” Jeremy asked.

“We can do that.” Jake patted his back gently before groping his ass a little.

Jeremy blushed. “Jake!” He hissed.

“Just helping you a little.” He chuckled and grinned.

“I should beat you.” Jeremy said.

“Is that a threat or a promise?” Jake asked mischievously. It was all just to help Jeremy.

“I’m going to the bathroom now. I’ll call you when I’m ready.” Jeremy said.

Not an overly long time later they were leaving the hospital. “That was the most embarrassing, most awkward thing I’ve ever done.” Jeremy told Jake.

“Well it’s over now.” Jake smiled.

“That doesn’t mean it’s not going on the list of ‘most awkward experiences in my life’.” Jeremy deadpanned.

“What all is on that list?” Jake asked with a chuckle.

“It’s a top five list kind of, on there is pre-squip life, when Rich told me about the squip, when the squip activated in the mall in front of everyone, what happened with me and Chloe at your halloween party that year, and that, it’s number one on the list, followed by Rich telling me about the squip.” Jeremy told him.

“Huh. You know, you’ve never told me how you ended up with the squip, I know Rich told you about it, I know it activated in the mall because I was there, but I don’t know the details.” Jake looked at Jeremy as he held the car door open for him.

“Thank you. And do you really wanna know?”

“Please?” Jake asked when he got in the car.

“Fine. It was after that first play rehearsal, I was in the bathroom. Rich came in and was acting weird. I was about to leave because he was acting weird and he bullied me right? Well he stopped me, apologized for the bullying and started telling me about squips while using a urinal.” Jeremy explained.

“Oh god, although knowing it was Rich that did that really doesn’t surprise me.” Jake chuckled.

“After that I talked with Michael about it, he thought it was a scam so we went to see the dealer Rich told me about. I got a squip and took it in the mall and you know what happened then.”

Jake nodded in understanding. “That was a weird time for I think everyone.” Jake admitted.

“Probably.” Jeremy shrugged as Jake started driving.

“How are you feeling?” Jake asked.

“Gross but better all at once?"

Jake glanced over, confused.

“Well gross because that was just awkward and now I wanna like, shower, but the tumor has gone down in size which is good.” Jeremy explained.

“Makes sense.” Jake gave a reassuring smile.

“I’m also tired.”

Jake chuckled. “We’ll get home, you can shower, and then you can take a nap okay babe?”

“Okay.” Jeremy gave a small smile.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more angst, what's new?

_ Jeremy could clearly remember the first time him and Jake actually spoke.  _

_ Brooke had brought Jeremy with her to the lunch table where her, Chloe, Rich, and Jake sat, also known as the popular kids table, for the first time. They’d been going out for a week or so, but until that point Brooke had insisted on them spending time alone. Now she insisted on him meeting and becoming friends with her friends, which was exactly what the SQUIP knew would happen and wanted. _

_ “Everyone, this is Jeremy, me and him have started going out and he is super adorable.” Brooke smiled and tapped Jeremy’s nose before sitting down. _

_ Jeremy just awkwardly waved and sat down beside her. Brooke, Chloe, and Rich soon broke off into a separate conversation leaving Jake and Jeremy, who was drawn to Jake, but at the time it was because the SQUIP was lecturing him on how important it was to be friends with Jake, _

_ “So what do you like to do for fun, Jeremy?” Jake asked. _

**_“Don’t tell him the truth, make something up, something_ ** **_cool_ ** **_unlike that geeky awkward wave when we first approached, they need to think you’re cool. They need to like you Jeremy, these are the most popular kids in school, and becoming friends with them will greatly increase your chances with Christine.”_ ** _ The SQUIP instructed, and quickly sensed he had no ideas.  _ **_“Say you longboard. Don’t make a big deal out of it either. Just say you like to longboard and shrug afterwards, if you sound too eager it won’t be believable.”_ **

_ “I like to longboard I guess.” Jeremy shrugged. _

**_“Good. Keep it up, the same attitude, don’t get too excited, but seem somewhat_ ** **_exciting_ ** **_.”_ **

_ “Cool, I’ve wanted to get into that stuff but apparently it’s ‘too risky’ if I’m also going to play sports.” Jake told Jeremy. _

_ “That sucks.” Jeremy frowned. _

_ “It is what it is. I’ll survive I guess. The question is, if you get to longboard, will you?” He chuckled somewhat dorkily. _

_ “Who knows.” Jeremy chuckled back. So far, Jake seemed like a great guy and he hoped they could actually become friends. _

A few days later Jeremy got a call from Dr. Morris’s office.

“Jeremiah Heere?” Dr. Morris asked over the phone.

“Speaking.” He said.

“Alright, I have the results back from the semen analysis. I cannot say what your sperm count was before the chemo, but I can say that it is low as of right now unfortunately. While you are not completely infertile, you aren’t as fertile as the average male. By the time you complete the chemo there is a chance that you will be completely infertile. I’m very sorry that this is happening, seeing as how uncommon this is.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, usually people with cancer who lose fertility are younger, children even, but chemo affects everyone differently.” Dr. Morris explained.

“Thank you doctor.”

“No problem. Goodbye now.”

“Bye.” Jeremy ended the call.

Jake came over and sat beside him. “What was that?” He asked.

“Dr. Morris, the urologist.”

“What’d he say?”

“Lower than average fertility, and I’ll probably lose that fertility.” Jeremy looked down.

“I’m sorry. But hey, it doesn’t mean we can’t have kids.” Jake spoke reassuringly.

“Okay, yeah we can still have kids, but did you maybe consider that maybe I wanted kids biologically related to me? That maybe just maybe there was a slight chances that I wanted to be a father in that sense.” Jeremy asked.

“I didn’t think of that. I’m sorry I hadn’t thought of that. I didn’t think you were the type to really care about that stuff.” Jake admitted.

“Yeah, well it’s easy for you to think like that when this isn’t happening to you personally.” Jeremy retorted.

“I never said it was easy for you.”

“Doesn’t mean that you didn’t imply that this has been easier on you, which it is has been! Yeah, your husband is sick, he has cancer, you had to take a break from your job but look at what he’s going through!” Jeremy paused,

“He has to deal with all the symptoms of having cancer. He’s frequently being pumped full of very powerful drugs that are killing the cancer, yes, but, it also makes him feel really shitty with symptoms including but not limited to: nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, easy bruising and bleeding, nerve damage and lots more. He’s had to quit his job. He doesn’t get to do anything any more. He’s 25 and feels like a 70 year old. Which he might not even live to be half of! His friend’s are going out and they’re getting married, they’re having kids, and they’re starring in movies. And him? He’s spending his saturday night curled up in bed at home because he feels too shitty to do anything else! He doesn’t get to do fun things anymore, because he’s lost that, and so much more!” Jeremy shouted.

“Jeremy, I-”

“I’m not finished yet. On top of all of this, he’s now found out that he won’t be able to have kids of his own, which was something he actually really wanted, because as stupid as it might be, he wanted someone to share his DNA and therefore be that much closer to him because he doesn’t get to bond with people easily but a baby loves their parents and doesn’t care who they are. But if the kid isn’t your own the kid will either hate your guts or not be close to you like a kid of your own would be and it sounds stupid but that’s actually a huge thing for me and now I’ve lost that on top of everything else.” Jeremy was now crying.

“Jeremy I’m sorry. I didn’t think of it like that.”

“Exactly. You didn’t think of it like that because you’re not going through all of this like I am. God, I can’t do this anymore.” Jeremy muttered the last part.

“I’m really, really sorry.” Jake told him again.

“Can I be alone for a bit? Please?” Jeremy asked.

“I, okay. I’ll go for a run. I’ll be a while.”

Jake went for his run and when he got back Jeremy, who had curled up on the couch, apologized for yelling and going off on Jake, and Jake apologized for being insensitive to the issue.

That night Jeremy finally called his dad to talk to him. He tried to when they first got the diagnosis, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell his dad the news. He nervously waited for him to answer.

“Jeremy my boy! How are you doing? Are you coming to visit?” He asked. “You know Smokey would love to see you.” He added.

“I’d love to see Smokey too, but I’m not sure I can any time soon. I’ve actually got some news to share.” Jeremy started the sentence off happily, but ended it on a grave tone.

“What is it?”

“Dad, I, I have cancer, I’ve known for a while. Around two and a half months to be exact.” He explained honestly.

“You have cancer? No! Please tell me this is some, millennial, joke I’m not supposed to understand, Jeremy, I, you can’t be sick.”

“It’s no joke. I’m really sick, but I’ve been doing chemo for nine weeks now and the tumor has shrunk so I’ll be going for surgery to remove it on Monday morning.” Jeremy told him, it hurt him to hear his dad say what he said, and hurt even more to say that he really was sick.

“Why, why did you wait so long to tell me?”

“Because I guess I knew you wouldn’t take it the best and I wanted to wait until it was getting too bad and I had to tell you or until I had some good news to go with it.” Jeremy explained.

“I, thank you for doing that, but you should’ve told me sooner.”

“I’m sorry Dad.”

“It’s alright Jeremy. I understand why you did it.”

“Okay, now why don’t you tell me how Smokey’s doing?” Jeremy changed the subject my inquiring about Smokey the cat they’d gotten when Jeremy was 15.

Jeremy spoke with his dad for quite a while before eventually ending the call, they had a good long chat, and Jeremy was glad for that.

That night in bed Jeremy suddenly moved closer and curled up against Jake.

“Are- are you still awake?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah.” Jake told him.

“I, I’m scared now Jake. Like really scared.” Jeremy admitted.

“What about? Or it is just everything that’s freaking you out?”

“Lots of things, but right now, I, I guess I’m scared of death.”

“You’re not going to die Jeremy.” Jake was quick to respond.

“But I could. So easily. A million things could go wrong during that surgery on Monday, they could give the wrong mixtures or amounts of drugs, the surgeon could slip and cut the wrong place and I could bleed out right then, or something could happen and I could throw a clot that would stop my heart, or there’s infection, or my heart could just stop. SO many things could go wrong and, I’m scared.” He explained.

Jake was going to reassure him as though it was nothing until he realized Jeremy was right. He took a moment to make a different action plan. “Jeremy, there are excellent doctors on your case, I’m sure they they will do everything in their power to keep you safe and alive.”

“I could still die after though too. They’re post-op infections, I could tear my stitches and not realize it until it’s too late, I could forget to take antibiotics or take too many at once,”

“Jeremy. Anything  _ could _ kill you, it’s merely a question of if you should let it bother you. Name something.” Jake asked.

“A shoe?”

“Defective or broken shoes could cause you to trip and hit your head and die or fall into traffic and kill you, untied shoelaces could do the same thing. The point is, anything could kill you, but you don’t worry about shoes, or eating, or drinking killing you do you?”

“No.” He answered.

“Because it’s ridiculous. The chances of them happening are so slim, that it’s best not to worry.” Jake told him.

“I’m still worried but that does make be calm down a little.” Jeremy admitted.

“See, no need to worry. I’m sure everything will be fine. You just gotta believe that it will.” Jake smiled.

“Do you really believe that?” Jeremy looked up at him and asked. 

“I have to.” Jake said.

“But if you didn’t have to, would you still believe it? You can be honest, do you really believe that?”

“I really do Jeremy.” Jake reassured him, Jake was clinging to the idea of it, he had nothing else to think of never mind cling to. Jeremy was going to be alright. He had to be alright.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More like nervous-ness than angst??

The weekend went by in a blur, bringing them to this, without a doubt the scariest moment both Jeremy and Jake had ever endured, before or after they started dating each other. All despite being told numerous times that this wasn’t a high risk surgery in the way open heart surgery would be, it didn’t mean it was the easiest surgery, nor that it was low risk.

Early in the morning Monday morning Jeremy woke up, he wasn’t allowed to eat nor drink. While he showered, Jake ate a little but found he wasn’t hungry. He put the finishing touches on the preparation they had done to make things easier post-op, just simple things, sliding this a couple inches to the left, pushing that further back, just so it was easier for Jeremy who would most likely be in pain a lot, to move around as easily as possible. Jeremy soon came out and put on jogging pants and a t-shirt, much like he had for his biopsy. It was a longer procedure this time, so Jake made sure he was prepared to keep himself occupied with while Jeremy was in surgery, because there was no way in hell he was going home.

Jeremy could’ve chosen to go to the hospital the previous night so the surgery could be done earlier, but he wasn’t concerned with what time the surgery was done at and that way Jake wouldn’t have to leave him or spend the night in a gross hospital room chair.

“Ready to go?” Jake asked.

Jeremy nodded. He was nervous but also ready to get it over with. The car ride was quiet and when they got to the hospital first they took blood for pre-op lab work. Him and Jake were then take to a pre-op room where he changed into a gown. It felt like things were moving fast, which they were but for Jeremy it seemed to fast and he was getting panicky.

“Jake everything is going so fast.” He looked at his husband.

“It’ll be over sooner in that case.” Jake offered.

“It’s just going so fast and what if something is missed?”

“They won’t miss anything. Don’t worry Jer, everything is alright, it’s going fast because everyone wants to get that cancer out of you as soon as possible. There’s no need to worry. They’ve done this lots of times before.” Jake promised.

“Okay.” Jeremy sounded unsure.

Soon a nurse came and put an IV in as well as putting a surgical cap on him, he’d already heard how the surgery would go, Dr. Boyd, who’d done the biopsy, would make the incision and get to the tumor site, which would be slightly tricky, because of where it was meaning they’d have to be careful to not cut or stab the organs near his hip, once the tumor was exposed, an orthopedic surgeon would be there was well, they’d remove the tumor, hopefully be able to get the whole thing, and then they’d close him up. Dr. Boyd came and made a mark for where he’d make the incision, it was without a doubt much bigger than the one for the biopsy, but that it wasn’t a surprise. They’d soon take him to the OR. He only felt more nervous, but this time he didn’t need to say anything. 

“It’ll be alright Jeremy. Don’t worry. When you get panicky just think of me. Think of me if every you’re afraid, that’s what I do, and suddenly things aren’t bad anymore.” Jake smiled softly.

“O- okay.” Jeremy mumbled.

Jake was sitting beside him, he was holding Jeremy’s hand, he didn’t let go of it but stood, he kissed Jeremy’s head. “It’ll be alright.”

“Kiss me, on the lips, in case you don’t get to again?”

“Jeremy, nothing bad is going to happen to you in that OR.” Jake told him.

“Then for good luck, please?"

“I can’t say no to you.” Jake chuckled. He kissed Jeremy softly, and he kissed back with the same energy, soft and gentle.

“Thank you.” Jeremy smiled softly.

A couple of orderlies then came to take Jeremy to the OR.

“I’ll be waiting for you.” Jake promised.

“I love you.” Jeremy told him.

“I love you too. I’ll see you on the other side.” Jake said and some of the orderlies took Jeremy to the OR and another showed Jake where he could wait.

Dr. Boyd decided to stop and talk to Jake quickly before heading to the OR.

“I didn’t expect anything so soon.” Jake chuckled.

“No news yet, but I wondered if you’d like someone to come update when there’s any updates?”

“Yes, please.” Jake responded.

“Alright. He’s probably going under right now. It’ll take a couple of hours I predict. He’s in very good hands, and now these good hands must get to the OR.” And with that, Jake was alone. It took him all of five minutes to realize he needed someone there with him, because while he had always seemed to have a brave face on, everytime Jeremy brought up fears with this, it wasn’t an actual brave face, it was a mask. He put it on to keep Jeremy calm, because when Jeremy needed calming it was easy for him to stay calm, but with no Jeremy, there was nothing to keep him calm. He tried to decide who would be best, he automatically thought of Christine, because of how positive she was with everything, but she wasn’t in the same state, never mind the same city  and free. His next thought was Brooke, she was positive too and had a very calming presence unlike Christine’s energetic one. Brooke and Chloe were back from their honeymoon now and Brooke never seemed to work Mondays. He called her.

“Hey Jake! What’s up?” She answered on the first ring, she’d probably been reading fanfiction on her phone if Jake knew her at all.

“Jeremy’s gone in for tumor removal surgery and I just, I really need someone to sit with me. I didn’t think I would, but now I do and I guess I couldn’t think of anyone else good for the job and free. Plus you’re one of his best friends.” Jake explained rushedly because that’s one of the things he did when panicked.

“Of course I’ll come. Just text me which hospital and stuff and I’ll be there soon.” She said calmly.

“Thank you so much Brooke, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“No problem. Before I leave, did you bring yourself any snacks?”

“No, I wasn’t hungry this morning so I decided against it.”

“Did you at least bring yourself something to drink?”

“There’s water fountains.”

Brooke sighed. “Just text me what hospital and where you are and I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

“See ya.” Brooke hung up.

Around a half hour later Brooke showed up. She had a big purse, it was without a doubt, full of snacks and had brought two travel mugs with what Jake hoped was coffee.

“Hey.” She smiled softly. She handed Jake one of the mugs.

“Hi. What is this?” He asked, he hoped it was coffee, but Brooke loved tea almost as much as she loved Pinkberry.

“It’s not coffee like I know you’re hoping for, but it’s sweet and hot and it’ll help you calm down.” She smiled softly.

“One of your teas?” He asked.

“Lemon Balm tea to be exact. It’s good for calming down and reducing anxiety.” She explained as she sat down and gently rubbed the back of his shoulder a bit.

He gave a small smile before taking a sip of the tea, it was bright and citrusy and he also could taste a hint of mint in it. It actually wasn’t awful. He took another sip and sat back rather than staying hunched over with his elbows bent to ninety degrees and resting on his knees. He already knew calling Brooke had been a good idea.

A nurse came out not long after Brooke got there to say that they’d successfully located and exposed the tumor. Jake thanked the nurse and she headed back to the OR.

“That’s like, one third of the surgery done. Find and expose it, remove it, close the incision right?” Brooke said reassuringly.

Jake nodded.

“Talk to me about something.” Brooke asked.

“Like what?” Jake wasn’t the best one to talk to when he was nervous, he usually clamed up and went quiet. 

“Anything. Basketball, or something stupid Jeremy said that made you laugh, just say something.” She explained. “Or ask me things. That works too.”

“I know you’ve liked Pinkberry since forever, but how and when did you get into all the tea stuff?” He asked.

“Exam stress towards the end of high school was killing me, doctors just wanted to throw me on anti-depressants or other garbage medication not meant for stress. I was really stressed and couldn’t sleep either, it was to the point I was getting sick.” She started.

“I remember, you looked awful but you said it was nothing constantly.” 

“Yeah. I mentioned it to this little old lady, in a pinkberry. I’d gone for a study break and she said I looked tired. She suggested I try chamomile tea if I was stressed, tired, and nauseous. I had nothing to lose so I tried it and it was amazing. I started using it a lot and then got into other ones that would help with other things, or calm me down without making me sleepy, and within like six months or so I was a little bit of a tea guru.” She giggled.

He nodded.

They talked for a while longer before the same nurse came out again.

“Is the tumor out, what’s going on?”

“About half the tumor was successfully removed without incident, but when the surgeon went to pulled away another sizeable piece, an instrument seemed to slip perhaps, we aren’t sure, the result is that he’s lost a fair amount of blood.”

“If he’s lost blood then shouldn’t they be sending someone to go get some rather than here talking to me?” He asked.

“It’s not that severe yet, but with regular expected amounts of blood loss, by the end of the procedure he will need a transfusion however we have time and there isn’t a rush. It is alright.” She promised.

Jake stood and walked past the nurse, brushing against her as he swiftly made his way to a nearby garbage can, where he promptly threw up the bit of food he’d eaten and the tea he’d drinken.

“He’s just been very nervous, he’s not thinking the most rationally. The second I saw him I knew the slightest bit of bad news would upset him.” Brooke explained to the worried nurse.

“I see.” She nodded.

“You, you said there was time before the transfusion?”

“As of three minutes ago when I left the OR, yes.”

“Would it be possible for me to give blood for Jeremy?”

“You would have to be a match,” The nurse started.

“I’m O negative, without I doubt. I donate blood often, I was supposed to three weeks ago, just from the last time I went, but didn’t because I was on vacation.” Brooke explained.

“I guess I don’t see why not.” The nurse smiled. The nurse gave Brooke directions and instructions on what to say and went back to the OR.

Jake was leaning against the wall near the garbage can, it seemed as though he was either dizzy from throwing up or he was trying to decide if he was going to again.

“Are you alright?” She went over and asked him.

“Hmm? Oh, just lightheaded.”

“Come on. Let’s sit you back down, we don’t need you falling and getting another concussion now do we?” She asked and lead him back to where they’d been sitting. She got him to drink some tea, the liquid helping against dehydration, and sugar would hopefully help with the lightheadedness.

“Will you be alright here alone for twenty minutes if I go donate some blood for Jeremy?” She asked.

“I’ll be alright I think.”

“Alright. It shouldn’t take long.” She smiled and walked off.

Jake sat there trying to calm himself, everything was alright. Jeremy didn’t lose massive amounts of blood, nor was he in any kind of real danger yet, and Brooke was donating blood for him and he’d be fine. Jeremy would be fine. He had to be. He breathed in and out and sipped some more tea, continuously reminding himself that everything was going to be alright.


	17. Chapter 17

Jake for some reason was thinking a lot about when him and Jeremy first moved in together, specifically the fact that that was when they started sharing a bed, he wasn’t thinking of all the dirty  _ things _ they’d done, but the soft fluffy stuff. Jake didn’t mind the memories but he wondered why he kept thinking of it.

_ “Is it just me, or does this seem kind of like, exciting but nerve wracking all at once?” Jeremy asked as they were getting ready for bed, he was changing into pajamas while Jake was in the small bathroom. They’d gotten a cheap apartment for the time being, just a little while until they found a nicer apartment that they could put a downpayment down on. _

_ “What do you mean?” Jake came out of the bathroom and stood in the doorway to their bedroom. _

_ “Well, I mean, we’ve just, never lived together before.” Jeremy looked at him. _

_ “You worry too much. And we’ve been here for nearly a week now.” Jake chuckled. He went over and wrapped his arms around Jeremy kissed his head. _

_ “I, do you mind if I read for a bit?” Jeremy looked up at him, it wasn’t until they were standing close to each other that Jeremy ever really noticed or cared about the five inch  height difference. _

_ “Only if I can do the same.” Jake smiled down at him. _

_ Jeremy smiled back. “I didn’t think you did things like read before bed.” He admitted. _

_ “I don’t usually, but sometimes it’s nice to read before bed.” Jake explained. _

_ “It is.” Jeremy smiled. _

_ “You’re cute.” Jake told him. _

_ Jeremy blushed a little. He went and grabbed his book and sat nervously in bed. _

_ Jake grabbed his book and sat on the bed. He pulled the blankets up to his waist, and started reading. Jeremy relaxed a little seeing how relaxed Jake was. _

_ “You know we just aged like ten years.” Jeremy looked at him. _

_ “Is that a problem?” _

_ “Not at all.” Jeremy leaned against Jake and opened his book. _

_ They read for a while. Jake glanced over at Jeremy, his book was laying on his chest and his eyes were closed, he was obviously sleeping. Jake smiled a little he looked at the page he was on in his book and closed it. He grabbed Jeremy’s book and bookmark. He marked the page. He sat both books aside and turned off the lamp. He pulled sleeping Jeremy close and held him there and soon fell asleep too. His last thought before he fell asleep was that he couldn’t wait for years worth of nights similar to that. _

“What if we don’t get anymore nights of reading in bed?” Jake asked out loud, he hadn’t meant to, but it was too late now.

“What?” Brooke asked.

“I was just thinking about this one night in our first apartment. It was just super nice and domestic, we were both reading in bed before falling asleep, and I remember thinking that I couldn’t wait for us to do that for years to come. But what if we never get to again?”

“Jake, you’re worrying over nothing. You’ll get to do that again.” She promised.

“I hope so.” He said quietly.

Dr. Boyd then came into the waiting room. He still had his scrub cap on, but there was no other evidence he’d just done surgery. Jake couldn’t tell if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Jake stood but said nothing. Brooke stood as well, she wanted to hear the news too, but first and foremost she was comforting Jake. She stood beside him, but a few inches back as well so she comfortingly rubbed his back.

“Mr. Dillinger I think you will be pleased to hear that we got the whole tumor.” He smiled.

“The whole thing? There’s clean lines or whatever the term is?” He asked.

“I did have clean lines. The whole thing is gone.” Dr. Boyd nodded.

“That’s, amazing.” Jake smiled.

“It is a good thing, however there is a however.”

Jake’s smile faded, Brooke noticed his hand, he was squeezing it tightly opening it a little and repeating the motion. She’d seen him and others do this before, he was looking for something to hold onto but had nothing. She wordlessly took his hand rubbed the back of it a little before fitting her small hand in his large one. He didn’t look or say anything but it seemed to be just what he needed.

“However the other surgeon and myself are worried a bit about how strong Jeremy’s right hip is, especially now. We won’t know exactly until he wakes up and starts moving around. It’s nothing crazy, he probably won’t need something crazy like a hip replacement at least not yet, but there is a good chance it’ll be weaker now. We’ll have to wait and see when he wakes up and then the orthopedic surgeon and Dr. Meyers and whoever else will make a plan of action. Try not to dwell on this too much. Now, it’ll be a while until Jeremy wakes up but would you like me to show you to his room?” Dr. Boyd explained.

“Yes please.” Jake nodded.

Brooke gathered their stuff. “I’ll stay until he wakes up.” She smiled softly.

He nodded. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” She told him. She put her bag over her right shoulder. Her travel mug was in her right and and she purposely handed Jake his into his left hand. As Dr. Boyd turned around to lead the way she slipped her hand back in his and he smiled softly at her.

When they got to the room Jeremy looked peaceful, until Jake noticed all the monitors and the different things hanging from the IV pole. He looked at Jeremy again but couldn’t see that same peacefulness.

“He should wake up soon. The anaesthesia has already left his system, but when he first began to wake up we weren’t ready for it,  he was very disoriented and upset, not to mention in pain. Most patients are okay to stay awake but he was very panicky so we gave him a mild sedative, we hope that you being there when he wakes up from that will help.” Dr. Boyd explained.

Brooke’s heart broke at the idea of her best friend waking up in pain, surrounded by strangers and panicky, only to be put back to sleep without any explanation or say in it.

Jake just nodded. “Thank you.”

The doctor gave a curt nod and left the room.

“He’ll be alright.” Brooke told him.

Jake nodded. He heard Brooke’s words, but didn’t know if he could believe it. At least he wouldn’t until Jeremy woke up.

It took nearly an hour for Jeremy to wake up. His eyes gently fluttered open, he ached everywhere but wasn’t in any real pain for now. He looked over and saw Jake, and Brooke?

“When did Brooke get here?” He mumbled, but because he was so groggy and high on pain meds, it didn’t quite sound like anything at all.

“Jeremy! You’re awake!” Jake exclaimed.

“Hi.” He tried something simpler and thankfully it worked much better.

“Hi.” Jake smiled back.

“When did Brooke?” He tried again with much more success.

“Jake didn’t want to be alone while he was waiting for you to get out of surgery, so I came and sat with him. Kept him calm.” Brooke explained.

“Thank you for taking care of him.” Jeremy told Brooke.

“Of course, I should get going though. I have other people to take care of.”

“Alright. Tell Chloe that we say hi and you can tell her the good news too.” Jake smiled.

“I will. I’ll see you boys later.” She smiled and left them.

“Why exactly did you need Brooke to come? You were fine when I had my biopsy?” Jeremy asked curiously.

“I guess this was a lot bigger and had me kinda, nervous?”

“The travel mugs, one of her teas?”

“I think it was called Lemon Balm? It actually wasn’t bad.”

Jeremy smiled softly. “What was the good news Brooke could tell Chloe?”

“Oh, right! They got the whole tumor with clean lines!”

“Really?” Jeremy asked.

“Yep. The whole thing.” Jake smiled. 

The rest of the day went by fairly quietly. Jeremy and Jake as well as the doctors were a bit concerned about Jeremy’s hip being weak, but that can of worms was one for tomorrow, when he was actually allowed to get up.

Jeremy told Jake he could go home overnight but he refused to leave Jeremy.

The next morning Jeremy was finally allowed to get up out of bed. 

“But go slow. We don’t know how your hip is doing.” The orthopaedic surgeon, Dr. Lankes told him.

Jeremy didn’t get what the big fuss was, until he stood up and his hip felt weaker. Jake was standing near him and Jeremy grabbed his arm. He couldn’t tell if his hip was that weak or if it just felt that way because it hadn’t been so weak before.

Jake was and at the same time wasn’t surprised when Jeremy grabbed his arm for support. He kept Jeremy upright, and comfortingly put his free hand over Jeremy’s.

“It’s weaker.” He announced quietly.

“I’m not surprised.” Dr. Lankes said.

“What do we do?” Jake asked.

“Physiotherapy.” Dr. Lankes was writing it down on something.

“Not until the chemo is finished, it’ll be useless until he’s cancer free because he’ll usually be too sick for it. He’ll miss appointments and be too sick during the appointments he can show up for.”

“Agreed.” Dr. Lankes nodded, adding something else.

“In the meantime he’ll probably need a cane.” Someone piped up.

“I’ll get his measurements for one.” Dr. Lankes responded.

Jeremy’s head was spinning, everyone was talking a million miles a minute and he couldn’t keep up, he felt sick trying. “Could everyone please slow down?” He asked loudly. Everyone and everything in the room stopped. “You’re all talking way too fast, I’m getting sick trying to keep up.” He explained.

“I’m sorry.” Jake was quick to say.

“It’s us doctors that should be sorry. I’ll recap for you. With your hip being weak, you’ll need to do physiotherapy to regain strength in your hip, but with chemo still going on, most physio will be too exhausting to be done regularly enough to help. So we’ll wait to start that, and in the meantime, we’ll get you using a cane.” Dr. Lankes explained.

“A, a cane?” He asked.

“Yes. A cane. I know it seems like something for old people, but in your case you need one, and not only old people use them. I’ll take some measurements, and get you a cane from the hospital, you don’t have to use the one I give you, but you do need to use a cane until you get doing physio and your hip starts healing. I’ll take the measurements and be back in a while with the cane to show you how to use it.”

“Okay.” Jeremy said quietly. He looked down.

With Jake’s help, Jeremy stood and allowed Dr. Lankes to get the measurements she needed. He then sat back down on the bed, now alone with Jake.

“A cane? A fucking cane? I really am more like a seventy year old than a twenty-five year old.” Jeremy mumbled.

“I know it’s not great but it could be worse. It’s not like you need a walker or a wheelchair or a hip replacement.” Jake pointed out.

“I feel old.”

“You don’t have to. Dr. Lankes gave me the website for this place that does lots of different canes based in a store not far from here. Let’s just take a look online?” Jake offered.

“I guess.” He sighed.

Jake gave a reassuring smile and pulled up the website on his phone. “Just, look? I’m sure anything on here will look cooler than the one you’ll get from doctor Lankes.” He handed Jeremy the phone.

Jeremy looked through different images of many different kinds of canes. He eventually found one he liked. It was dark brown wood and the handle and rubbery bit at the bottom was light blue. The handle wasn’t curvy like with many canes. In the description it explained that the handle was silicone like the end piece at the bottom for comfort and so it could be easily leaned against walls and such. “I, this one isn’t bad.” He said quietly and showed Jake. 

“You like it?” Jake asked.

“More than any others I’ve seen.”

“They have it in this blue, red, and black, I’m guessing you like the blue though?” Jake double checked, although he didn’t need to. Blue was his favourite color without a doubt, it had been since they met and according to Michael long before that too.

Jeremy blushed a little and nodded. He was happy that Jake seemed so supportive with all of this, even if Jeremy repeatedly said he didn’t want Jake to care so much. He didn’t like that he needed to start using a cane, but he at least knew that that Jake was supportive of him, and that made it a little more okay.


	18. Chapter 18

_ Jake had never done anything half-assed with his and Jeremy’s relationship. So to Jeremy, when they headed out for one of Jake’s games it didn’t seem like a big deal. _

_ When they got to the stadium everything seemed like normal, Jake went to go change in the locker room and Jeremy went and took his floor seats to watch the game where the other family members did. He usually sat with some of the players fiances, some nice girls, but today, they sat a couple seats away from him, as did everyone else. He didn’t understand why but decided not to question it. He watched as some of the camera guys set up their equipment, it was a televised, live game tonight. Soon the players came out onto the bench, and eventually the court. Jake being one of the stars he was on the court, the game about to start. _

_ “Hold up! Something isn’t right” Jake shouted out of nowhere. There were some giggles and then the crowd went quiet, the cameras kept rolling. Jake walked over to Jeremy. _

_ “Jake! What on earth are you doing?” Jeremy whispered frantically. _

_ One of the wives tossed Jake something and he caught it. _

_ “Something I’ve wanted to do for a while.” Jake smiled. He got down on one knee. “Jeremy, since we first met, you’ve meant so much to me. I’ve cherished every year, month, week, day, hour, minute, and second I’ve spent with you. We’ve been through so much together and I want to spend my whole life with you. I want to be tied to you for the rest of my life, which is why I am wondering, if you will do me the great pleasure, of marrying me?” He popped open what Jeremy now realized to be a ring box. Inside was a brushed-effect silver band with a smaller band of shiny silver in the center. There was a small break in the brushed silver, and just after it a small diamond. _

_ Jeremy had his hands covering his mouth and nose the entire time “Oh my god! Jake, I, yes! Yes! A million times yes!” Tears of joy began to fall down his cheeks. _

_ Jake smiled and slid the ring on Jeremy’s finger. He kissed Jeremy softly, then pulled away. “Now, I believe I have a game to win.” He smiled and cocked his head to the side before jogging back to the center of the court. _

Jeremy was at home a few days later, sitting on the couch, feeling embarrassed and slightly disgusted with himself. He glanced over at the blue handled cane, leaned against the couch. It wasn’t so much the cane as it was himself. He should be stronger than this. He was 25 and needed a god damn cane, all because he was weak. Pathetic. Useless even.

Jake had gone out, he hadn’t said where to. He simply looked over at Jeremy, who looked depressed. “Make yourself look not so scary. I’m going out. Please be done by the time I’m back?” Jake asked and left.

Jeremy had no idea why he was doing this but he went, dry shampooed his hair, and changed into actual clothes.

Jake soon came back. “Okay, we’re going out. Let’s go.” He announced.

“Where are we going Jake? I’m still sore from surgery.”

“I think you’ll really enjoy this.” Jake told him.

Jeremy sighed. He grabbed his cane and got up. “I don’t think I’ll ‘really enjoy’ anything.” He grumbled as they left the apartment.

“Just keep an open mind? I think it’ll really cheer you up.” Jake asked.

Soon they were in the car. They didn’t go for before coming to a stop in the parking lot for a diner.

“What are we,” Jeremy started.

“Just trust me.” Jake smiled. He got out and came around. He opened Jeremy’s door and helped him out as much as Jeremy didn’t want help. 

They walked into the diner and at one of the big booths in a corner was his coworkers Alex, and Marina and to even more of a surprise; some of his favourite students, Emma, Ryan, Cameron, and Catherine. A smile spread across his face.

“I’m going to go for a nice run, call me when you’re ready to head home.” Jake smiled at Jeremy.

“I will.” He smiled back before walking over to the booth. “Hey guys, I’m just wow, Jake didn’t tell me what was going on I’m so surprised.” He spoke mostly to Alex and Marina.

“Hi Mr. Heere!” Emma said excitedly.

“And my favourite students are here, wow, I’m so happy to see you guys!” He smiled.

The four children got up and hugged him.

“We missed you Mr. Heere.” They told him at the same time but not in unison.

“I missed you guys too. I’m so happy and surprised to see you, who did this?” He asked.

“We had set things up with the parents, they’re over there,” Marina pointed to the group of three dads and a mom sitting just across the diner drinking coffee.

“And talked to Jake. Told him any time you needed a pick me up to just shoot a text and we’d figure things out.” Alex explained.

“Thank you so much for doing that, and to you guys for coming!” Jeremy said the last part to the kids at the table.

“Mr. Heere why do you have a cane?” Cameron asked.

“You didn’t have one before.” Emma added.

“Guys that’s not something very nice to ask.” Alex told them.

“No it’s alright. Remember how I told the class there was yucky stuff in my body? Well it’s gone now, but my body got used to it being there, and taking it out made the bones it was on weak, so I’ll need a cane for a while.” He explained.

“I like the color of the handle.” Catherine smiled softly.

“Me too.” He smiled.

After a while the kids left, and it was just Jeremy, Alex, and Marina.

“Now that such sensitive ears are gone, if you guys want you can ask questions and I’ll give real answers.” Jeremy told them.

“The cane, I’m guessing that you got the tumor removed but it left your hip weak?” Marina asked.

“Yeah. It’s not the greatest but there’s nothing I can do about it.” Jeremy shrugged.

“Hey, at least the tumor is gone.” Alex offered.

“Yes, so now it’s just finishing the chemo then physio to help strengthen my hip and then I can put it all behind me.” Jeremy told them.

“How much longer are you doing chemo for?” Alex asked.

“124 days, not that I’m counting at all.” Jeremy deadpanned.

“You’re allowed to.” Alex chuckled.

“Other than all the cancer stuff, how’s it going?” Marina asked him.

“I’m starting to go stir crazy to be honest. I rarely leave the house except for chemo and doctor’s appointments anymore. I think Jake is too, but he won’t say anything if he is.”

“He cares about you so much.” Alex told him.

“I know. It means so much to me, I tell him that I’m thankful for everything he’s been doing and it still doesn’t feel like enough. I have no idea how to tell him how thankful I am.” Jeremy looked down.

“He knows how thankful you are Jeremy. Trust me, I’ve been married long enough to know, you’d know if he had a problem. He cares about you so much, and you don’t need to do anything crazy to say thank you to him.” Marina told him.

“She’s right. I mean seriously, he didn’t have to leave work, he makes enough money he could have hired someone to take care of you, or just left you to take care of yourself, but he didn’t.” Alex pointed out, it might’ve been harsh, but honestly, she wasn’t wrong.

“True. Thank you.” He smiled at them.

They talked for a while longer, but Marina’s kids had soccer, and Alex’s boyfriend needed her to come home for something. Jeremy called Jake, and Jake soon got there to pick him up.

“Thank you for this Jake. I mean it. Thank you so much.” He smiled as they got into the car.

“Of course.” Jake smiled.

“No, I mean thank you for everything you’ve done for me these past four months. I can’t tell you enough and I just wanted to say it, because I don’t feel like I say it enough.”

“You say it enough. I know you’re thankful. But I should be thanking you for letting me help you, you’ve always been so stubborn, and I’m glad you’ve let me take care of you.” Jake told him.

Jeremy smiled softly. “It was really nice to go out.” He admitted.

“It’s only been, gee, when was Brooke and Chloe’s wedding?”

“June 9th. So like, less than a month.” Jeremy said.

“Twenty eight days just at home or the hospital Jeremy. And that doesn’t even count because that was a pre-cancer commitment. The last time you actually went out spontaneously I think was April 3rd, and it’s July 7th. Yeah, it’d feel good to go out.” Jake chuckled.

“M- maybe we could like, go see movies every second week or something? So that I get to go out and do something but it’s nothing crazy so I can do it even if I’m not feeling great?” Jeremy asked. “It’s just an idea though, we don’t have to.” He added, looking at Jake for a response.

“That sounds great.” Jake smiled.

“You know, I really needed that? I was feeling kinda, disgusted with myself, about the cane, but then I saw everyone and they didn’t see it was weird or anything. I’m still not happy with the cane, but now it’s just the inconvenience of it I guess now. Seeing everyone really helped.”

“Imagine how seeing your best friends would make you feel.” Jake suggested.

“I know, I know, we need to make plans with everyone to hang out. It’s just hard because everyone has stuff to do. We have nothing but my chemo and doctor’s appointments, they have work, and kids, and hobbies.” Jeremy said.

“We’ll make plans, don’t worry. And I have a hobby, you need one, because you can only watch the marvel movies that are on Netflix so many times.” Jake chuckled.

“Hey!” Jeremy protested. “Marvel movies are beautiful.”

“Watching them on repeat isn’t a good hobby.”

“I read.” Jeremy pointed out.

“You need like, a creative outlet, if you weren’t sick I’d say something active, but obviously that doesn’t work, so something creative.”

“I like to bake and cook.”

“You couldn’t stand in the kitchen for forty minutes, before your surgery. You needed a stool.” Jake pointed out. “You could like, get into art or writing or something.” He suggested.

“I can’t write anything a decent length, college professors would ask for 3000 words and I’d turn in 10,000 plus.” Jeremy pointed out.

“What about drawing or something?”

“That’s Michael’s thing, I’m no good and I don’t have anything to draw.” Jeremy sighed.

“What about like knitting or something?” Jake offered.

“Knitting? I know I am as well be a 70 year old but I don’t want the hobbies of one.”

“The point is, you need to find something to do.” Jake sighed.

“I know.” Jeremy sighed. “I actually have an idea, I used to do it with my grandma. Can we go to a fabric store? And maybe a thrift shop too?” He asked.

Jake looked confused, but altered his course. “What’s this idea?” He asked.

“You’ll see.” Jeremy smiled.

Soon they returned home. Jeremy enthusiastically cleared off their coffee table in their living room. He grabbed his reading glasses, a ruler, and scissors and brought them to the table too.

“Jeremy you still haven’t told me what this is. Something with sewing I know that much, but like, what?”

Jeremy smiled. “When I was little I would help my grandma with quilting. I loved helping her. I helped her so many times I could do it blindfolded, well maybe not blindfolded, that’d be dangerous. I’m going to start quilting.”

“Dude you told me that you didn’t want an old person hobby and then you start an old lady hobby.” Jake pointed out.

“Shush and let me do my new-old hobby.” Jeremy said and got started with rolling out cloth and measuring.

Jake was simply happy that Jeremy seemed excited about something.


	19. Chapter 19

_ The first trip Jeremy and Jake went on was supposed to be a camping trip. They packed up Jake’s car, and drove out to a great spot for camping Jake knew of. It was a little late in the season, but he was sure it’d be fine. _

_ The first night, they got there, pitched their tent, made some hotdogs, and enjoyed the fire, they stayed up until Jeremy got cold and wanted to sleep. They climbed in the tent, got ready for bed and went to sleep. _

_ Jeremy woke up early the next morning because he was freezing cold. It didn’t take him long to realize that the temperature outside had drastically dropped from what it was yesterday. And it sounded as though it was raining. _

_ “J-jake?” His teeth were chattering. _

_ Jake stirred. He wasn’t as cold as Jeremy, but did find himself cold too. “Yes?” _

_ “I’m freezing. I think it’s raining.” He said, teeth still chattering, but he was trying to not let it be so loud and evident. _

_ Jake was more awake now. He sat up. He reached out and touched the edge of the tent, near the ground. _

_ “It’s probably a good thing we left our bags in the car, it’s rained so much it’s damp in here around the edges....” Jake said. He began thinking of what to do. This was not at all ideal and Jeremy looked borderline hypothermic. _

_ Jake ended up sitting Jeremy in the car with the heating turned all the way up, while he quickly tore down their site and threw everything in the trunk. He drove for a little bit until they found a hotel where they spent the next few days rather than camping. At the time Jake was embarrassed over the disaster, but they laughed about it now, five years later. _

“Jeremy, wake up honey.” Jake woke his sleeping husband.

“I don’t wanna get up.” He grumbled.

“Yes you do.” Jake dragged out the ‘o’.

“No I don’t.” He pulled the blankets further around himself.

“Come on Jeremy. Today is a big day!” Jake told him.

“What?” He groaned.

“I think you forgot, but today is November eighth.” Jake told him, smiling even though Jeremy wasn’t looking.

“So, it’s just November eighth, another shitty Sunday where  _ I get my last dose of chemo! _ ” He came to the sudden realization, and sat up immediately.

“Today’s the day.” Jake smiled at Jeremy.

Soon they were leaving the house to go to the hospital. Jeremy wouldn’t miss this, and if his scans that he was doing tomorrow came back clean, he’d hopefully never have to do this again.

The entire time Jeremy was getting pumped full of the toxic drugs, for the first time, he wasn’t frowning, nor did he look like he could leave this place and go jump off a bridge. Dr. Meyers stopped by.

“Hello Jeremy.” She smiled.

“Dr. Meyers.” He nodded his head in acknowledgment of her presence.

“It’s your last dose of chemo, I thought I’d pop by and see how you’re doing.” She explained.

“Well I gotta say, this is the happiest I’ve been to be in this situation ever.” He told her.

“Most patients say something along those lines.” She chuckled. “So we have you set up for new scans tomorrow, does that work for you?”

“I’m still doing nothing.” He told her.

“Alright. You’ll go for the scans and I’ll call you in when we get the results back. Have a good rest of your day.” She smiled.

“Sounds good. You too.” He smiled back and she walked off.

“Jake?” Jeremy asked, he had been reading and Jake was on his phone.

“Yes Jer?”

“I, I’ll ask later.” Jeremy sighed.

Not too much time later they were on the car on the way home.

“Can I ask that thing now?”

“I still have no idea what it is, but of course.”

“Well, I was just thinking like, what happens now?” He asked.

“What do you mean Jer?”

“Well like, now I start physio and stuff, if the cancer is gone, but like, I can’t just show up back at school like, after winter break can I? I formally resigned, so they would’ve brought someone else in, and so they probably wouldn’t have work for me until like next year, but I’ll go crazy not doing anything once I’m better again while I wait for the next school year to start because it’s ten months away. And when will you go back to work? I’m almost better now, you shouldn’t have to stay home anymore, I mean, basketball season just started like a week ago, not to mention like, we’re okay for money last time I checked from the investments, but we can only keep bringing in that money if we keep investing it.” He explained.

“Okay, there’s a lot there. We’ll start with you. Maybe you could arrange things to that you’ll sub again until next school year and then they’ll take you back?” Jake offered.

“Yeah.” Jeremy nodded. If he subbed the rest of the year there was no pressure to get back at a certain time.

“And with me I’ll return in the new year. And we’re fine. There’s no need to worry. You forgot that I was still getting some pay from work too. I’ve invested every second payment of that so you really don’t need to worry.” Jake glanced over to smile.

“Oh. Okay.” Jeremy mumbled.

“But I won’t return to work until you’re good and ready to either be alone, or head back to work yourself.” Jake told him.

“Please, Jake, don’t wait to return to work because of me. If you wanna go back now, then please go back now.”

“Jeremy, you’re possibly at the sickest you’ve been right now. Yeah, the cancer is probably gone, but you’ve still just finished the chemo, you’re using a cane because your hip is so weak you can’t walk properly, and you know that despite everything we’ve tried you’ve lost a decent amount of weight. I’m not leaving you alone until you’re better.”

“But Jake,”

“Jeremy, I mean it. I don’t want to leave you until you’re at least a bit better.”

“Promise to return in the new year? Just return for the first game of 2016, it’ll hype up the fans or whatever.” Jeremy suggested.

“I’ll think about it.” Jake said.

“That’s good enough for me.”

When they got home Jeremy went for a nap.  He woke up, tried to eat some food, didn’t exactly succeed, and went back to bed. That happened a lot lately, and when he wasn’t sleeping, he was usually quilting, in the past four months he’d made around twenty five quilts. The first ones, the rougher ones, were dropped off for donation at pet shelters and such. They were fairly simple in the beginning but now Jeremy would go himself or send Jake to find t-shirts at thrift stores and such to make into quilts. They kept some, and gave some to their friends, Jeremy even sent two to his dad.

The next day, a Monday to make things even better, Jake took Jeremy to go for his scans. Jeremy could drive, but Jake wanted to take him, which really meant Jake refused to let Jeremy go alone. The scans didn’t take too long, and now all there was to do was wait for results.

It was Wednesday and they hadn’t heard anything. Jeremy had been anxious as soon as they left after getting the scans, and as time went on he’d only gotten more nervous.

“Jake, why haven’t they called yet? What if they haven’t called because they found something? What if they found something and it’s taking them so long because they need a new course of treatment because chemo didn’t work? What if-”

“Jeremy. I think if they found something they’d have called by now. No news is good news, and there’s been no news, so they probably haven’t found anything, and they just want to make sure that nothing is there before they give us the good news.”

“But there could be a new tumor. There could still be cancer.” Jeremy said.

“Or there could not be.”

“I could still be sick.”

“Or I could be sick, or Brooke, or Chloe, or Michael, or Rich, or Christine, or your dad, or even baby Claire. Yes, you  _ could _ still be sick Jeremy, but you could not be, you gotta try and remember that.”

“You’re right, I guess.” Jeremy mumbled.

“It’ll be alright Jeremy. Try to think positively.”

He nodded simply and returned to his quilting.

Jake sighed before grabbing his phone. He called Rich and soon Michael, Rich, and Claire all were at their door. Jake answered it and let them in.

Jeremy looked over. “What are you guys doing here?” He asked them.

“Jake said you needed a pick-me-up. We weren’t busy so we decided to come over.” Michael smiled.

“Well he didn’t tell me you were coming and I probably look like trash,” He looked down, he was still in his pajamas not that it could be seen by the quilt that was covering him, He was almost done this one. “Yep, I look like trash, there’s no food in the house,” He was saying.

“Jeremy, we’re here to cheer you up because you’re feeling down. I don’t care that you’re in your pajamas.” Michael told him and sat down beside his best friend.

“We didn’t come for that, we came to make you feel a bit better, so is there anything you wanna do?” Rich asked, also taking a seat on the couch, baby Claire in his arms.

“Watch a movie?” He asked.

“Sure.” Michael smiled.

“We’ve even got popcorn in the house, and I ordered groceries yesterday, they should be here any time now.” Jake told Jeremy, leaning over him from behind the couch, Jake kissed Jeremy’s head. He was about to wander to the kitchen. “Wait, Claire won’t be upset by the hot-air popper will she?” He asked.

“Nah, she’s really good with that stuff.” Michael answered.

“Okay cool.” Jake smiled and he went to make popcorn. Soon the guys were all on the couch eating popcorn and watching a movie. Claire eventually began to grow fussy. Jake paused the movie.

“And idea what she wants?” He asked.

“She’s not tired, I tried a bottle, her diaper is clean,” Rich said.

“Does she maybe wanna go for a walk?” Michael asked mostly Rich, but everyone heard it.

“A walk? Wanna explain a bit better?” Jake asked.

“Oh, sometimes she’ll get fussy and she just wants to be held and the person holding her walk around. We don’t quite understand why, but her pediatrician says it’s normal, not all babies are like it but it’s not unusual.”

“Oh.” Jake said simply.

“Who’s gonna do it?” Rich asked, mostly Michael, but again everyone heard.

“I could take her. I haven’t gone for a run today and if I increase how far I go it’ll make up for the lack of speed.” Jake offered. He loved Jeremy, but he knew Jeremy had been suck with mostly him the past months, and he thought it’d be best if he got to spend as much time with his friends as possible.

“You don’t have to.” Rich told him.

“No, uncle Jake wants to take baby Claire for a walk.” He said.

“You’re lucky we brought the baby carrier.” Rich sighed.

A few minutes, some baby sweaters, and a slight struggle later, Jake had Claire strapped to his chest and he left for a walk, while Rich, Michael, and Jeremy stayed behind, watching a movie and enjoying each other’s company, effectively calming Jeremy down and making him feel better.


	20. Chapter 20

_ Jake and Jeremy had been going out for around a month now. They’d been on multiple dates. Most of which Jake took Jeremy out for dinner, to the movies, or other similar things, and any time Jeremy tired to do something for Jake, Jake refused to let Jeremy spend any money on him. Jeremy had recently brought up that it was too the point he felt bad over this though, so Jake knew he had to change something. So he set up another date for them but didn’t tell Jeremy anything, he wanted to keep Jeremy happy and that’s what he kept in mind when planning this date. _

_ The night of the date Jake simply picked Jeremy up and began driving, Jeremy had no idea where they were going. _

_ “So what are we doing tonight?” Jeremy asked. _

_ Jake glanced over and smiled. “Just trust me when I say you’ll like this.” _

_ “Please tell me where it is?” _

_ “You’ll see.” Jake smiled. “I promise you’ll like it.” _

_ Jeremy pouted a little but didn’t fight it. “Okay. I trust you.” _

_ Jake smiled again and kept driving. _

_ They soon pulled up to Jake’s house, after the fire Jake’s parents came back somehow got out of going to prison for the money laundering. They got the massive amounts of insurance money from the fire and other money because Jake got hurt in the fire even if it was fairly minor, invested it thus tripling the 1.5 million making it just over 4.5 million and they used it to build a new house and turn their business clean. This house was even bigger than the one Rich burned down. _

_ “Is this your new house?” Jeremy asked to make sure. _

_ Jake nodded. “Come on.” He said and got out of the car. He lead Jeremy into the house. “My parents aren’t home.” _

_ “O-oh.” He said, thinking something totally different than what Jake had planned was going to happen, and he wasn’t sure he was quite ready for that. _

_ “Oh god. I, I just realized how that sounded, I just mean they aren’t gonna be around to disturb us, it’s not like I’ve planned something we couldn’t do with them home.” Jake promised immediately after realizing how it had sounded. _

_ “Okay.” Jeremy let out a breath of relief. _

_ Jake had planned for them to eat microwavable popcorn and watch movies because his parents were out of town. They gathered as many blankets as they could and sat in the TV room watching movies after making popcorn and getting cans of pop. “I know you didn’t want anything crazy, so here, it cost me a grand total of like $10 between the popcorn and the gas to get you here.” Jake smiled. _

_ “Thank you. It’s great.” Jeremy smiled back. _

_ “Really?” Jake asked. _

_ “Yes. It’s great. You’re not trying to impress me. It’s just us and some movies, and some microwaved popcorn. Nothing was set up beforehand and you didn’t try to do anything at all except for make me happy. Which you’ve succeeded at. I really do love it Jake.” _

_ “Good, I’m glad.” Jake smiled. _

On Thursday Jeremy got a call and on Friday they went down to Doctor Meyers office, there was lots to take in, and there was tears, now Jake and Jeremy were planning a get-together. On the guest list for the small event was Michael and Rich as well as Claire, Brooke and Chloe, Jeremy’s dad, and Christine who had finished filming what she’d been filming and was in between projects was able to make it too.

Jake had gone out to buy stuff for this get together. He came home and looked for Jeremy, who was on the couch quilting which he did a lot lately.

“You’re home! What’s with the face?” Jeremy asked. Jake looked like he was either about to laugh uncontrollably or die, he couldn’t tell which it was.

“I found something at the grocery store.” He started.

“What is it?” Jeremy asked him.

Jake laughed a little and handed Jeremy a tabloid magazine, the kinds that are near the tills at grocery stores.

Jeremy took it, and looked down at the magazine, the photo was of Jake with Claire strapped to his chest, and it appeared to have been taken from a story or two off ground level. The photo was paired with the headline ‘Basketball Star Jake Dillinger’s Secret Child!’ followed by a ‘see details on page 4’. Jeremy looked confused at this and laughed.

“Oh god. Are they- is this serious? What do they even say, did you read the article?” Jeremy asked.

“I scanned it, briefly.” He shrugged. “Read it while I put the groceries away.” He added.

“I most certainly will.” Jeremy chuckled and opened to page 4. He read the article. “Okay so basically us going to the hospital to meet Claire was just me taking you to meet your new baby, and that you’ve taken the time off to raise your kid and that’s why you were seen with a baby on your chest while you were walking around.” Jeremy laughed. “They pretty much based it off the fact that the mother we went to visit was unmarried and that we haven’t been seen out in public together much, so they say you’re living with the mother and baby and are just trying to hide it.” He explained.

“I love being famous. It’s the easiest way to hear bullshit stories about yourself, and everything is ten times crazier than high school rumors you hear about yourself.” Jake chuckled.

“This one is probably the best yet.” Jeremy said. Over the years there had been lots of these tabloid stories, some more mundane like he was on drugs, there were ones where he apparently got arrested, him and Jeremy had gotten divorced around seven times, they never got married, among other things but so far this one seemed the most outlandish, however these were just the stories they happened to find, they didn’t even seek them out.

“It is.” Jake agreed.

Two days later it was Monday and everyone was at or on their way to Jake and Jeremy’s apartment. Michael and Rich with baby Claire of course, Brooke and Chloe were also there, so they were waiting for Mr. Heere and Christine who were coming together because Christine offered to pick up Mr. Heere on her way. Everyone was just hanging out and talking for now.

“So according to some tabloid, Claire is actually Jake’s secret kid.” Jeremy told Michael they were sitting on the couch, Michael holding the baby in question.

“Seriously?” Michael asked with a chuckle, he gently adjusted the bottle he was feeding her so it was tilted a little more as she continued to drink the milk.

Jeremy nodded while laughing. “Jake bought the magazine and brought it home. It’s actually kind of hilarious.”

“That’s great.” Michael chuckled. “So are you gonna tell us why we’re here?” Michael asked him.

“Not until everyone is here.” Jeremy told him.

“I’m your best friend, come on.” Michael begged.

“Nope. Gotta wait for everyone.”

“Fine.” Michael gave up.

Soon everyone got there. There was lots of greetings including hugs, squealing, running to greet people and Rich might’ve fallen on his face but no one was really sure except for him, not that he’d tell them.

“Okay Jeremy, everyone is here now. And we know you just met with your oncologist to discuss whether or not the cancer is gone,” Michael prompted him.

“Yeah son, you wanna tell us why we’re here?” Mr. Heere, or George, asked.

“Well, we met with the oncologist on Friday, and while I am very underweight and in need of physiotherapy, I’m officially in complete remission!” Jeremy spoke with a grin on his face.

“Really?” Brooke asked.

He nodded and had a huge smile on his face.

“Jeremy! That’s amazing! We gotta celebrate!” Michael exclaimed.

“Why do you think we’re having a party?” He asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, it’s nothing like the high school parties I used throw, there’s no alcohol, it’s not gonna last until ungodly hours, I doubt anyone will end up in the hospital over this, and the adult to children ratio here is 8:1.” Jake chuckled, referring to the fact that there was one child there and that everyone else was an adult. Every single one of his parties in high school had zero adults.

Chloe chuckled. “Maybe not, but this is just as good!” She said. “Jerry’s cancer is gone!” She smiled, using the name-mixup turned nickname her and Brooke had for Jeremy.

“So you’re in remission now, how long until you’re declared cancer free?” George asked.

“Five years until it’s official.” Jeremy told him.

“Well, I think we can all agree when I say, thank god you did it!” Rich said.

Jeremy smiled. “Thank you guys.”

That night once everyone had left and Jeremy and jake were in bed Jeremy spoke. “I still can’t believe it’s gone.” He mumbled.

“The cancer?” Jake asked.

“Yeah. It’s just, I’ve wanted it for so long, and now it’s finally happening.”

Jake nodded. “That makes sense. But babe, don’t question it. Just be happy it’s gone.”

“I know, I know.” Jeremy said.

“Good. Now let’s get some sleep.”

Jeremy nodded and curled up before falling asleep.


	21. Chapter 21

_ The big day had finally come, Jeremy and Jake’s wedding. They were excited and nervous, Jeremy a little more of the later, but nonetheless excited. Around noon, Jake walked down the aisle, followed by Jeremy. They wore matching grey three-piece suits with white dress shirts and purple bow ties, with the same shade purple flowers attached to their suits as well as matching purple pocket squares.  _

_ The two took their places at the altar, Jeremy was still nervous, but Jake smiled at him, and the nerves melted away, all there was to do was to focus on living in this moment, being happy, tying himself to the love of his life for all eternity. _

Jeremy was set to meet with a nutritionist about a week later. And started on physio just three days later on Thursday.

Thursday came and Jeremy was nervous but also excited. “I can’t wait to ditch this cane.” Jeremy said in the car on the way to the appointment.

“I’m glad to see you so excited for something.” Jake responded.

Jeremy just smiled a little. “Like I said, I’m done with the cane.” Jeremy shrugged.

“Today will probably just be an assessment of what needs to get done to work towards that Jer.” Jake warned.

“I know, I know, but it’s a step in the right direction.”

“That’s the right attitude.” Jake grinned.

“Oh my god, Jake, do I look like a child?” Jeremy asked, jokingly taking ‘offense’ to Jake’s choice of tone and words.

“Well, you do have a bit of a baby face.” Jake teased.

Jeremy scowled a little. “So children have canes and hip issues?”

“Touche ya old bastard.”

“Jake?” Jeremy spoke with joking annoyance.

“Yes?” He asked cockily.

“I love you.” Jeremy’s face softened as he smiled at Jake.

“I love you too.” Jake said. “Now, let’s go un-old man you.” Jake chuckled, Jeremy smiled.

_ As the two grooms took their places at the altar, each of the grooms best men, followed by the groomsmen and women stood and turned so they were facing towards the altar, instead of the crowd. Rich was there for Jake, as well as Chloe, and his best friend from basketball and for Jeremy, Michael, Brooke, and Christine.  _

_ The groomsmen wore black two piece suits with purple dress shirts, and the groomswomen wore knee length purple chiffon dresses, that had wrap waists and sweetheart necklines. All the purple matched thanks to some extreme coordination skills from the girls. _

_ Everyone from the wedding party was happy and excited much like the grooms. They’d waited a long time for this, and now that it was actually happening they were so happy. _

Jeremy would need a fair amount of physiotherapy, and it wasn’t going to be the easiest either, but he would ditch the cane eventually, and in a couple months he’d probably be able to do gym with his students, and work out or jog with Jake again. In other words he was happy.

Six days later Jeremy met with the nutritionist. He was given lots of information on how to eat right to safely gain back the weight he’d lost, and he was to keep up with the physio and such and try to stay as active as possible, because that’s a factor too. It wasn’t a huge change from the food they usually ate, he just had to change how he ate it a little, which wouldn’t be too hard now that he wasn’t being pumped full of chemo on a near weekly basis. They were on the drive home when Jake suddenly realized something. “Jer what day is it?” Jake asked.

“It’s Wednesday.” Jeremy told him.

“I mean the date.” He said.

Jeremy pulled out his phone and checked. “November 25th.” He said.

“I can’t believe we forgot it.” Jake mumbled.

“Forgot what?” Jeremy asked him.

“Our anniversary was two days ago.” Jake explained.

“You’re right.” Jeremy nodded. “I can’t believe I forgot! I feel awful.”

“It’s alright babe, we’ve both been busy and have had lots of other stuff on our minds, and it’s not like we can’t just celebrate like, tonight or tomorrow or something.” Jake said.

“I guess, I just, I feel bad…” He frowned.

“It’s alright babe. You don’t need to worry about it.” Jake gave a soft smile.

_ “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Jeremiah Heere, to Jacob Dillinger,” The minister started. _

_ Jeremy looked out at the people sitting and watching. There was his dad, his grandparents, his aunt and her family, and friends from college and work for him, Jake had his mom, dad, grandparents, friends from college and friends from basketball, it wasn’t too big, but it was a good size, he smiled a little, his grandmother was already tearing up, he smiled at her. _

_ “If anyone has any just cause why these men should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your piece.” The minister said. _

_ Jeremy watched the crowd, relieved when no one stood or made a sound. _

_ “Good, let’s continue,” _

Over the next few weeks, Jeremy worked hard to get better, and was doing good which was good because Brooke and Chloe rented out a cabin for everyone to come spend Christmas in near a small town in Connecticut, and Jeremy was able to go thankfully. December 19th came and Jake and Jeremy packed up their car with suitcases and gifts and hit the road. A few hours later they arrived at the huge cabin. They smiled at each other and got out of the car.

Brooke and Chloe, Christine, Rich Michael and Claire were all there already, they’d come the day before, they were all lounging around in the large living room, minus Brooke who was in the kitchen making snacks, when Jake and Jeremy came in.

“You’re here!” Christine exclaimed and ran over to hug them, and everyone else lined up to do the same.

Brooke then came in to greet them, she was the first notice what was different. “Jerry where’s your cane?” She asked.

Jeremy smiled. “I only need it if I’m standing or walking for extended periods of time now.”

“That’s amazing!” Christine grinned.

“I’m proud of you.” Michael told him.

“We all are.” Brooke said as she came over to hug him and Jake.

On Christmas eve, they had a nicer dinner, but the big one would be the next day of course, it was then that Brooke and Chloe stood. “We have a bit of an announcement,” Brooke said.

“What is it?” Rich asked.

“Well, nothing major has happened yet, but we’ve signed up to foster kids.” Chloe smiled.

“Aw, that’s great guys!” Christine smiled.

“While we’re announcing things,” Jake stood, Chloe and Brooke sat, Jeremy followed his husband’s moves. “I’m officially returning to work January 2nd.” Jake smiled.

“And I’m progressing well, so I’m looking at mid-February to return to doing some subbing.” Jeremy grinned.

“Dudes! That’s great!” Rich grinned.

“I’m happy for you both.” Brooke smiled.

“Thank you.” Jeremy said.

“Michael and Rich or Christine, any exciting news?” Jake chuckled.

“Well, I  _ was _ just offered a role in a movie where I’d co-star with some pretty big names.” Christine smiled.

“Seriously?” Brooke asked.

“Who?” Michael asked.

“Yes, and I can’t say.”

“Not. Fair.” Jeremy pouted.

“I’ll tell you first okay Jer?” Christine chuckled.

“You better.” Jeremy teased.

The rest of their stay was amazing, and there were many promises to do it again, which made Jeremy happy. Their week stay had been wonderful, and it was nice to spend time with his friends. It made him quite happy.

_ “Love is a precious thing, something to be cherished, something everyone deserves it doesn’t have to be romantic, but everyone deserves love, and luckily for Jake and Jeremy, they were blessed in that they were brought together and were able to find strong, pure love in one another, I think we can all agree, these two will never lose that.” The minister spoke. _

_ Jake smiled at Jeremy, and Jeremy smiled back. _

_ “Because they’ve got such a strong love, these individuals have wisely decided, they would like to tie themselves to each other. This is a sacred joining of two souls, and this moment, and it’s beautiful results are to be held onto and cherished forever. The words said here today, are to remain true forever, as will Jake and Jeremy’s bond. These words should be shared now in the form of the grooms’ vows, Jeremy would you like to go first?” _

January second came, and as planned Jake was returning to the court, and Jeremy to the reserved seating for player’s family. He was greeted back by the fellow significant others with open arms, and realized how much he missed this. Life wasn’t quite back to normal, but it was a step in the right direction and that was enough.

Jeremy was almost completely done with his cane, and he was getting much better as far as his weight was, and he generally seemed happier, more excited, and definitely more full of life than he was a couple months ago, which made Jake happy.

The rest of the weekend passed and Monday came Jeremy went in for new scans and blood work to go over with Dr. Meyers, just to check, it’d be a regular thing for quite a while, if not the rest of his life, but it was a small price to pay in comparison to what’d he’d already been through.

Friday came and so did the results, all was good and he was to continue working on his recovery.

“Told you it’d be fine.” Jake told him on the way back to their car.

“I never said it wouldn’t be.”

“I know you, you were thinking it, but it’s okay Jeremy, you’re still okay, still getting even better.”

“Thank you Jake.” Jeremy smiled.

_ “Jake with this wedding band, I vow to you the following things. I promise to love you without condition, to honour you each and every day, to laugh with you when you’re happy, and support you when you’re sad, to guide you when you need direction, to challenge you to be the best person you can be and allow you to do the same for me. I promise to be your biggest fan and your ever present listening audience no matter what, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.” Jeremy said, tears sliding down his cheeks silently as he slid the ring on Jake’s finger and spoke, Jake was teary eyed, and multiple guests were crying happy tears too. _

_ “Beautiful, do you promise to forever hold onto and keep these vows?” _

_ “I do.” Jeremy said. _

_ “Jake, you’re turn.” _

_ “Jeremy, with this wedding band I vow to you the following. I promise to love you to the end of time, to always be there for you, to be your rock, your shoulder to cry on, the one you can trust no matter what you’ve done, the person you can go to when you need help, the body whom you can steal warmth from, the person who will catch every spider you encounter, who will take care of you when you’re old and sick. I can’t promise perfection, but I do promise to keep these vows for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.” Jake put the ring on Jeremy’s finger, he was still crying, and Jake didn’t realize it but he was too. _

_ “Do you promise to forever hold onto and keep these vows?” _

_ “I do.” _

Jeremy was cleared to go back to work on February 9th, when he went home he contacted the different people he needed to, and he’d be subbing in hopefully two weeks. Which he really hoped for, because he was feeling, and according to his doctors, physically, he was probably healthier now than he had been this time last year. He was done with the cane, and weighed a healthy amount for someone with his height and build, the only physical difference, was some surgical scars easily hidden by a shirt.

That night Jeremy and Jake laid in bed, Jeremy wrapped around Jake.

“Are you excited to go back to school?” Jake asked.

“Yes, a little nervous, but I think I’ll survive it.” He smiled.

“You know I’m proud of you, right Jeremy?” Jake asked.

“For getting through all this?”

“Yeah. Some people would’ve given up, or wouldn’t have tried to get better, or would’ve gotten depressed and given up in different ways, but you stayed strong and determined through all of this, and I’m very proud of you.” Jake smiled.

“Thank you.”

_ “Then by the power vested in me by the State of New York, I pronounce you husband and husband, you may now kiss the groom.” The minister said. _

_ Jake closed the space between him and Jeremy and kissed him softly and sweetly, cupping his face so he could use his hands to wipe away his husband’s tears with his thumbs. _

“You’re sure you’re ready Jeremy?” Jake asked.

“Yes, I’ve waited too long for this.” Jeremy was smiling.

“Just checking.” Jake chuckled. “I love you.”

“I love you too, but I gotta go.” Jeremy smiled a little more.

Jake smiled brightly “Well then, I guess all that’s left to say is, have a good day at school.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone who read this all the way through


End file.
